I just woke up from my bed, still enjoying the beauty of sleep from a whole academic year gone with MGIS – the school where I work – I had planned to write an article on my relationship with a girl I made in the school; a friend from the South of the continent.

She’s not your average medium-height person (whatever that means). This woman is gorgeous but yes that’s where we encounter situation number one with women. I remember chatting online using the windows live services for the first time, telling her how beautiful she was. She replied, “Nope! I’m not; I think I’m the ugliest in my family.” That description of her shocked me! Why would a beautiful girl call herself ugly? Amazing, but that’s women you can never understand them. One day, Sherri – what I normally call her – told me she wanted to have some adjustments done to her body. “Ah!” Yes I know. Women! You just can’t understand, can you? She claimed she wanted to have those many operations done nowadays in the modern world; adjusting the natural beauty of God’s creation – breast reduction, a hip bone removal, jaw adjustments. When I heard all that that day on the phone, and believe me that wasn’t all, I screamed, “Why would you want to do that?” Then she started on and on about how she wasn’t beautiful and all. Of course you didn’t think I was mad to keep quiet about it, I discouraged her from it and of course they never listen when they have made up their minds about their body. :)

Before I proceed any further, allow me to describe how we came to meet. Long before our eyes met, I had heard some stuff about her from her English teacher; that she was a very brilliant lady, of course in the English language. He said, “She always brings up some complicated topics on certain issues.” In short, the girl was complicated. I remember one day, Micahlord, her English teacher told me, that he had to lie to her that he was half British, half Ghanaian. Why? Because the girl had for some reasons kept some preconceived reasons that he was a British and he claimed he didn’t want to disappoint her beliefs. Some complications in life! Well, the day we met; I was in the school canteen another area of my work domain. I had by this time finished up all I was doing there and was relaxed sitting with of course her English teacher taking some snacks when she arrived with her other friend, also from the south of the continent. I listened as they went on and on about their country, South Africa and their cultures. They gladly informed their little audience that in South Africa there are the white, the blacks and the coloured (a mixture of the two). They said they were coloured. Up till now I hadn’t spoken, taking everything in. Then Sherri claimed she was more coloured than her other friend because most of her ancestors were white. That’s where I asked, “What is this thing with coloured and white and blacks?” She didn’t say anything new in answering. Come on, my pals; whether black or white or yellow or pink, blue; we are all Africans. So what’s with all this divisions in colour? You know that is what makes us war against other tribes and discriminate against other people because they aren’t like YOU. Seeing I wasn’t content with her answer she asked, “What’s your aim even in this school. I see you walking around all the time, doing nothing; just running here and there.” Up till now I hadn’t said a word, I was stunned! Then she asked again, “why are you here? Why aren’t you in school?” Finally I explained to her that I came here to work a bit before going back to the university. She was ok with that, I hoped. You know why I didn’t answer the first question? Apparently she had been asking some people about me and all. I didn’t believe it when people said it, but then there it was. I didn’t understand why she would deviate from her talk on culture and suddenly jump on to, “what my aim in life?” I always laugh when I remember that question because for a person of where I’m going to and seeing my dreams fulfilled, I have my life written down, for now till when I’m 30, and still writing down, already prepared the rest in my head, till over 50 years. I think you should do too; it gives you a forecast of what you want to achieve each day, each month, each year, and of course how to work towards attaining it.

We were talking about my friend. From this time onwards after our conversation; we occasionally said the ‘hi’s’ and the ‘hello’s’. Of course after sometime, I had her email address and her phone number – you know how guys get sometimes :) I would not want to call it dating what took place between us because we usually only chatted on the internet when she got home from school and I was done with work, or we called each other on the phone. We never really went out; hanging out, you know what I mean. Not to even talk of going to her house, I never knew where she lived exactly. Sure I know the area, but not where the house was. Why? Maybe I will tell you later. Though we didn’t go out actually, we always talked. Amazingly we hardly talked in school, she was in class, I was… in her words, “running around here and there,” funny way of describing my work, when I know how hard I worked everyday. Almost everyday we talked: if not everyday. It creates some bond when you always do spend some time talking with people and learning about them and vice versa. “My love life,” she prefers to call it; is one heck of a story. She said once back in her own country she was dating this guy who ended up breaking her heart, so bad that she didn’t want to revisit the subject with anyone. Often she said to me, “You know I do have the ‘hots’ for you.” Yes, true whatever the situation was, I would have loved to be more than friends but when things are unstable with two people, like with us, relationships don’t work; she not being to live in herself probably haunted by her past and me, not really thinking I could start something I know it will not work in the long run. I wasn’t ready for that. Besides after her graduation, which she had a few days back, she is going back to South Africa forever and me to Ghana. So we talked and of course they you can guess by now, ‘friends’ are cool with us.

I remember talking to her recently on the issue of her love life, and she told me, “It is still complicated!” I asked why? She said, “There are too many guys asking me out and I’m so confused right now.” You see! Right there, that’s where I can sometimes understand; if you don’t like the guy just say NO! In stead of letting in a long drag about the whole thing and hurting your self emotionally. Oh yea, for sure that’s what happened, what did you think? She later explained that she didn’t want to loose all her friend over this issue by hurting them. Women! For the last time in this script I’m going to say, “If you don’t want to have more than friendship with a guy, just tell him.” Believe me; it is far better for the guy to know that NO is NO and be just friends, than making him stay on the journey for long. The guy will trust me, get over it and believe me within some few moments set his eyes on another girl. Then it strikes me again, maybe women like it when the guys come chasing after them in numbers, because I sure don’t get it. Can you tell me why? Anyways I hope she finds her answers soon, because it really does drain her emotionally – thinking on it -

Yes! In a few days time she is going to go back to SA. She told me she can’t wait and I sure do know it. She has been counting the days since the beginning of the year. :)

What I surely won’t forget about ‘my red cherry’ are the warm hugs she gave me each time we met- if you know me by now, I love hugs- and there was something about her though annoying sometimes she will definitely leave an imprint in your life, if you were close to her, something peculiar but special many people didn’t realize or notice because they had other impressions for her and refuse to change, even is she did in their eyes- we call that human nature I guess-.

Probably we may not meet again in this life, but I pray that God sees her through, and perhaps she gets less complicated :) and appreciates more of who she is and what she has. I pray the same prayer for you that God opens your eyes to appreciate yourself more and those around you.