Oh Boy! For the past weeks I haven’t really prayed a lot. I have prayed but not for more than 10-20 minutes. I have made excuses upon excuses upon excuses. There were times when I really wanted to, I will set the alarm for 3 or 4am, the alarm will ring and I will be so tired to put my feet down.

If you really do pray and then for some time you don’t pray like you used to, you start feeling weak and empty, as if you have betrayed God. Why? Because He’s doing everything for you but you just aren’t doing your part. Ohhh of course you might go to church, pay your tithe, read your bible and all but deep down you feel there’s something lacking in your spirit. You try as much as possible to get rid of that feeling but you can’t. Then you start feeling like you haven’t prayed for so long that you are afraid to stand before God and say you’re sorry. Why? Because it isn’t the first time you have done something like that.

I have had that feeling. Of course things were going good physically because God cares for you even when you turn your back on Him, but deep within your soul there’s that void that can only be filled by God. Definitely, physically, you’re fine, smiling at everybody, everything seems good but you’re not happy. And that sadness could lead to depression which could eventually kill you because on the inside you just don’t feel good. Nobody told me I had to pray, I knew I needed to pray, we all do. And it is not that quickly rattled pray when you remember you haven’t prayed. No! I’m talking about that communion with your Father who made you. Most of us like to spend hours on end with our friends and family but want to quickly be done when they go to church, they want to quickly rush their prayer, they get tired when they pray for long. You spend so much time with your friends and not with God who looks after you when you don’t even regard Him. Sometimes we treat God like He’s some being who has everything He needs, and does whatever He wants and He can do without us. Why do you think someone of that nature will make you anyway since He has everything He needs? He needs us, you and I to have communion with Him, to talk to Him, to LISTEN to Him too. God is all in all, YES! But He needs man. Remember the Bible says that He’s a jealous God. As in when we put other gods before Him, He’s jealous. You think if God didn’t mind you or what you did, or needed He’d be jealous? He’s jealous of the little things we put before Him: television, video games, shopping, money, cars, houses, travelling, jobs, and education. I’m not saying those things are not good, I’m saying that when you put them before God, He gets jealous.

If you were like me and had troubling praying for one reason or the other, God needs you and I to commune with Him. (Remember what He did during Noah’s time when every human forgot about Him except Noah, he wiped them off) We can’t do well without God. Stop making excuses and go to God in prayer. Tell Him you’re sorry (it doesn’t matter if it is the 100^th time you’re saying it), and pray then listen. All that lack of the divine experience and lack of something will be filled by God. It doesn’t matter what kind of sin you committed and for how long you have been doing it. Just talk to God. Don’t rush it. Spend time talking with Him. Believe me you won’t regret it. The enemy wants to get you cold, and so ashamed that you feel God isn’t there anymore or that he won’t listen to you because of what you’ve done. He’s lying! He always has! God is still there. Bible says He never changes. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. Go to God today in prayer and pray like you mean to.

He rescues you first like a weak lamb, then makes you a stronger

I found myself in the book of Psalms some few weeks ago. I’m re-reading the whole book again and I have noticed this amazing event that David recounts in the 18^th Chapter. If you just read with your own understanding you probably may not realize it: for half of the verses in the 18^th Chapter, David talks about God delivering him from the hands of his enemies.

“the Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies”

Psalm 18:2-3

“He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, lightnings in abundance, and he vanquished them. Then the channels of the sea were seen, the foundations of the world were uncovered at Your rebuke, O Lord, at the blast of the breath of Your nostrils”

Psalm 18:14-15

If you read the verses carefully you’ll see how David describes the mighty acts of God in saving and delivering Him. David finds himself in a tight fix but He remembered one name God. He called on Him and of course God doesn’t fail. The other half of the chapter talks about how God strengthens David and teaches David how to deal with his enemies.

“It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect. He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places. He teacheth my hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by mine arms. Thou hast also given me the shield of thy salvation: and thy right hand hath holden me up, and thy gentleness hath made me great. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.  I have pursued mine enemies, and overtaken them: neither did I turn again till they were consumed. I have wounded them that they were not able to rise: they are fallen under my feet. For thou hast girded me with strength unto the battle: thou hast subdued under me those that rose up against me.  Thou hast also given me the necks of mine enemies; that I might destroy them that hate me.”

Psalm 18:32-40

In the second half of the chapter David stops talking like a wavering person. God has strengthened him to fight his own enemies. Not that he now relies solely on himself; remember the strength is from God. David knows he can’t be a victor without His God.

So why I’m I bringing this up? On a countless number of occasions we have fallen into ‘deep shit’ and ‘deep sea’: financial, marital, educational, social, emotional troubles, relationship and many others and it has happened once too often. And again one many countless occasions God has rescued you from those difficulties but somehow we find ourselves back in them and then we still look up to God for help. See, God helps you the first time but then He shows you how to help yourself out the next time. When God rescues you from a discomforting situation He gives you enough strength and wisdom not to go back. Ever heard the saying that no situation is permanent? You think that being in that condition is the end of it. If a man falls a thousand times, a thousand times he MUST rise. God has given you all the help you need here on earth. My Psychology lecturer said last week that with some of the problems that we face here on earth, we should stop going to God and crying about it, God gave us people to help us. He further said that by sharing your burdens your problems are divided into two. He cited an example of a girl who receives a breakup letter from her boyfriend. He advised that the girl should send the letter to a friend and both of them should read it. From then on the problems don’t become only one person’s problem but both of them. He said we shouldn’t worry whether people will laugh or not; for people will always laugh at people. The trick is the more people you share the problem with, the more lighter the burden is on you. Imagine a load of 100% shared among 50 people everyone get 2%. Now imagine one person carrying that entire load, that’s when depression comes in and then people want to commit suicide. When Joy and I broke up, of course I was carrying the entire load but then I quickly distributed it among so many people so much so that I felt I wasn’t carrying any of it. You’d think that probably isn’t the wisest thing to do but trust me from experience even if people laugh they help encourage you. That was why in no time at all I found myself with Nana. Ever heard the expression that when problems come, they don’t come in singles but in triples. Careful not to drown in the pool, that’s what people are there for. Okay! That’s enough, so that’s all people.

Look, God has already rescued you. Sometimes God wonders why you still are where you are and keep complaining. Remember all you need is around you, you just have to look. GOD FIRST RESCUES YOU BUT HE SHOWS YOU HOW TO FIGHT BACK.

Ever heard the expression ‘hard work never breaks bone’? It makes them stronger! Most people resent hard work; they would rather have hard work done for them by someone else. They would always think about how to make things easy and if they can’t, they give up. Hard work doesn’t mean labour or manual work. It is work in general, whether in the office, or on the field, in school or at a function, work is work.

Technocrats & high-tech companies all over the world are always looking for ways to make things easier. The thing is while they are making it easy for you, they are working hard, very hard. They make the IPods, the blackberries, the laptops, the cellular phones, the spaceships, the list is endless. The thing is no matter how the world tries to make things easy for us, we still have to hard work at everything and anything we desire to excel at.

If you are in school, for example, there are new technologies all over: you get assignments sent to you by email, there’s distance learning programs, there are visual presentations, laboratories, anything to make teaching and learning easy but the thing is you still have to study. If your school is the most modern school on the globe, the student still has to work hard and study what he or she has to in order to make it out successfully. Of course if you don’t work hard, you fail, the system fails you. This is the most important point, stick with me, how did you feel on your graduation day or how would you feel when all your HARD WORK has been crowned with a 1st Class degree? Excited, elated, on top of the world! Why? Because you knew/know it wasn’t given to you on a silver platter- you WORKED HARD for it. That’s the feeling of hard work.

Now imagine how you would feel otherwise.  Guess what the system makes it easy but you still have to do the hard work. It applies wherever you find yourself, whether a janitor or CEO. Nothing is given on a silver platter, you need to work hard.

Notice there’s a feeling that comes with working hard. For instance you had outlined things you had set out to do in a day, so many tasks and then you strive hard to do everything and all turns out successful, how would you feel? Good or not? There’s this inner joy or sudden strength that comes with completing tasks successfully, you suddenly feel like you could do anything, any task because you know it wasn’t easy to accomplish.

We all want things done the easy way. Guess what; even the easy way is not easy, if you really want to succeed. Don’t complain about hard work! You do it! How else do you think the world’s big-guns made it? WORKING HARD!

If you never worked hard in your life for something you have now, chances are if you don’t work hard at keeping it, you will lose it eventually, maybe not now but sometime soon, you will. You can’t cheat in this game, you never can. YOU DO IT, YOU EARN IT!

Apart from the success, the feeling inside of you that counts.

I was reading the book of Ecclesiastes recently. It is slowly becoming my favourite book and then I came across a scripture someone once gave to me about enjoying life. This woman is a family friend, a great friend of my mum. She’s a prophetess. A few days before I travelled to Cote d’ Ivoire in 2007, I went to see this woman to pray with me and all. You know, to seek God’s face about my journey. She didn’t say much, she just gave me one scripture that made a difference in how my trip was going to be like. Ecclesiastes 11:9:-

“Rejoice, O young man, in your youth, and let your heart cheer you in the days of your youth; walk in the ways of your heart, and in the sight of your eyes; BUT KNOW THAT FOR ALL THESE GOD WILL BRING YOU INTO JUDGEMENT.”

The words hit me strong. She said that I could do anything that I wanted to do in this world. Climb the highest mountain, dance the craziest dance, and eat the nicest and yuckiest foods. In effect do all I wanted but I shouldn’t forget all there will be judgment. She said, God gives us the free will, to have fun, to chill, to go clubbing, to shop, to watch movies all day, to surf the net every second, to acquire all the nicest high-tech stuff of the world but know one thing, never forget it, breath it always…THERE WILL BE JUDGEMENT.

She said that the judgment of God limits us in the kind of things we have to do. Nobody is saying don’t have fun, but remember that there is someone who watches;

• When you are sleeping
• When you are alone with your girlfriend or boyfriend behind closed doors
• When you are eating
• When you are sleeping around
• When you are in church, in school, at work, wherever
• When you are with someone who is not your spouse
• When you are stealing
• When you are having fun at the expense of others

The wisest man who ever lived also said that “As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labour – this is the gift of God” Eccl. 5:19 Solomon said to enjoy each and every day that God has given us. All the riches, the wealth, the family, the friends, the choicest things of this world, God says we should enjoy. In fact when you read the book of Ecclesiastes that’s what Solomon preaches. He says that there are so many things in this life that are vain or full of vanity, so each and every man should enjoy the fruit of his labour and his days as God gives him. But remember the same preacher who says we can do whatever says we should be careful in our merry making and enjoyment because there will be judgment of all things since under the sun is hidden from God.

Chill, have fun but be careful.

• He said that when you don’t prepare for your life by age 40, chances are you will find it difficult the rest of your life.
• He said that when you get married, attend the same church with your spouse and children, it brings unity. The children may change their minds when they leave home but the spouses stay together.
• He said when you think of money, think of long term but short term counts
• He said train your children in the way they should grow, trust them to experience the rest and make the best decision.
• He said never tell your children that you were not good in school. Chances are they might follow. Even if you do, make sure you tell them the great part: you won in the long run.
• He said show your children how much you love your wife, for they will follow you.
• He said the best form of investment is real estate. It takes a long time to build but it is long lasting, come hell or high water.
• He said build your own house. It is not a nice sight, seeing an old man living in an apartment and struggling to pay rent.
• He said live your life so that when you retire, you can tour the world and see the most beautiful places of the world.
• He said never rush in life. Take it one step at a time.
• He said for everyday of your life, look at the next five to ten years.
• He said you can never make it not giving thanks to God.
• He said never forget to pay your tithe because all the money you make or get is not yours. Give God His share.
• He said investment in a human being is one of the best investments you can make.
• He said make sure you know somebody because networking will get you to where you are going less stressfully.
• He said always learn to give, for it will come back in many forms.
• He said never lose hope.
• He said it is better to do your own work if you want to make your own money than work for the government.

I have heard,” we can’t be perfect! You are not perfect!” A thousand times over. I’m even sure today I might hear it. Gosh! Even I had said that a million and one times! lol As long as we are in this body, we all know we can’t be perfect, but we try to.

I’ve thought about it over and over in my head, trying to find a way round it. I think I have. We as humans cannot be perfect, we all know that but I say we can, in our actions. Our actions make up who we are, and I believe if our actions are perfect, we would be.

Our thoughts may not be perfect, our families may not be perfect, our friends may not be perfect but our actions can, although it takes some conscious effort. I’m not going to tell you, you can be a 100% perfect in your actions, but you can try. It never hurts to.

Most times we say we are not perfect in the way we respond to unpleasant situations and then we go shouting at everybody, ‘but I’m only human!’ That’s an excuse the whole world is relying on. The way you respond to situations, I say determines how perfect you can be. You offend a friend, are you quick to say I’m sorry rather than allow your proud wings to carry you because you think were right and he/she should rather apologise to you. Even if your friend did you wrong, you should be quick to say I’m sorry for what I did. Maybe my actions made you think that way, or act that way. Sometimes, not reacting and simply being silent is all you need to do. Then watch what happens.

You lost your job maybe because someone else set you up to take the fall. No-one believes your complains, don’t start screaming if you can’t get justice on your side. Do all you can to get justice served but if you can’t, go to your boss before you pack out, say that you are sorry this and this happened.  Be completely honest and truthful about what happen but make sure you say that the situation in the office or wherever has taught you in future, how to be cautious concerning certain things and then respectfully leave. You would have left, but your superior will deep down know that you are an honourable person. Even if you did what they said you did, don’t hold a grudge when you have been discovered; be truly sorry, although you know you will be fired!

I’m not saying there aren’t times when you won’t make a sudden outburst because of a shocking situation. Things surprise me myself. You will get bored, you will get dissatisfied with so many people, people will annoy you but your response will make a big difference in you being perfect or not.

A great man said, ‘if you are angry count up to 10, if very angry, a 100’ before you say anything or act in any way. Never react in anger, you will later regret and wish you hadn’t.

Actually my father never taught me anything as in speaking. I watched him. You know what they say about children. They don’t listen to what adults say, they watch what you do. You can’t say one thing and do another. Some people will snatch the beer bottle from their teenagers and say no alcohol, and right there open one for themselves. What the parent wants to achieve is not going to happen. Then again what are they trying to achieve? They are telling them to put away drinking for now but do it later.

Probably I would end up drinking alcohol, if my father had given up his actions about it. We visited a friend of his, let’s called her Gifty. We stayed for a long time over there, eating and conversing and all. It was a long time ago when I was way younger. Gifty’s friend came along when we were eating fufu, and he was given alcoholic wine. He tried convincing my father to drink some, over and over again. I watched my father critically to know what his actions would be and he constantly tried to stop the guy from persuading him, refusing bluntly but nicely. The guy kept on saying, it is good for the heart, a little that is, but Dad said no. That was something that got in grafted in my mind forever because I was so little at the time. My dad drunk no alcohol and I also, now a young adult, can tell you I never have.  He probably doesn’t know, or he does, I don’t know J. Not once has he told me not to drink, not to have sex before marriage, to be well behaved, he actions spoke louder than words.

I was faced with a situation too, that I was in a friend’s garage where his dad had stocks of beer. The boy went there to drink many times in a day. He took me there, and the urge was great but I never once did, because being a young man I always wanted to grow up to be just like my father, he was the perfect example and I didn’t want to be any less but like him and more. Dad you are the best role model anyone can ever have. One day your descendants will look up to you as the one they want to be like.

Parents your children don’t listen to you, they watch you.

Adore you, I do

In love with you I am

My heart and soul is yours to keep

For they serve me no purpose

Without your love in them

Cherish you, I forever will

Desiring you, I always have

Without you I may die

May are out there

To devour you, they will try

But my love, I pledge to you

Time, I will wait

For our fruit to be yet ripe

To consume our love, we will

the delicate woven web

I’ve talked about the strength of the anthttp://eddiebonney.wordpress.com/2008/06/30/the-ants-strength/  before but then recently I was thinking about something I heard years ago, and then I saw the wisdom too that the spider possesses. We can learn a lot from this insect expect from destroying its webs all around our homes.

I’m sure you have seen spider webs before in the corners of your home all over, you brush them up and then some days later you still find new webs being made. Right? Sure you have unless you live in…. That’s the character about the spider I have come to realize. The spider is so wise that it builds its home up in the corners of our homes in order not to have anyone or anything disturb it but surely you are I are always out against them destroying their homes and trying to kill them because they make our homes dirty so even right there in the corners we get them.

Have you realized that everything the spider needs to survive comes from its body? Its silky lines that it uses to build its home; when it wants to capture an insect for you, it silk does it easily because anything gets stuck in the web but the spider doesn’t because it produces oil that enables it walk across the web.

So what I’m I saying? The spider is a very interesting insect. It doesn’t give up in any situation. Even when the home is destroyed, its environment is gone, it doesn’t lose faith. Why? Because the spider knows that he can’t start from scratch again. He can build again. He has everything he needs to start life all over. One event cannot get it down. It doesn’t give up. Yes! The spider!

Maybe something awful has happened in your life and you feel, this is the end, I can’t make it anymore, life is over, and it can’t continue without him or her or this thing, be like the spider and start all over. Life isn’t over yet. Like the spider knows that God never makes a mistake and He is still watching and God hasn’t given you everything you need to make it in this life. The things or people or the opportunities may not seem to be there but believe me they are. Just trust God enough and continue, pick yourself back up and build that web all over.

Have you ever since a spider fall from such a long height? It doesn’t die by the fall. It survives! How? By producing more silk from its body it makes the fall slow and safe. Look, if life hits you in the face, people you love so much betray you, mum and dad get divorce, you have a terrible breakup, keep believing and start producing silk, keep believing that it will also get better. No condition is forever permanent. It can’t last forever. The problems will only be stepping stones to greater heights if we see them as such. Keep believing, and keep producing that SILK!

happy 21st anniversary

My parents celebrated their wedding anniversary a few days ago on the 1^st of Oct. they have been married now for 21 years and mum and dad I say a Happy Anniversary, the whole world wished you well when got married in 1988 and by God’s grace today you have raised a standard, a legacy of love and commitment for your children to follow and so we will.

You the funny thing I like about my parents wedding anniversary is that by calculating from the 1^st of October to the 1^st of July (my birthday) are exactly 9 months. I like to think of it that I was conceived on the wedding night. lol Well I was so waiting to come into this world, huh?

I know many people too haven’t seen the people who birthed them live together in love in one home for many years but today I tell you that it is very possible. Perhaps you didn’t get that but you can change and decide that when you find someone you love you will stay committed to them till death parts you.

Of course my parents aren’t the most perfect people on earth. They have had differences before, I have seen them disagree on so many issues but in order not to make the thing venture into unpleasantries one would have to let go, be it mum or dad. They both may not know it but they have thought me so much about marriage that they can imagine. My parents haven’t really talked to me or any of my siblings about love and marriage and all that but they have shown us how it is done and that is the best example anyone can receive. They have thought me that when I find the woman I love, there will be ups and downs. We can’t runaway when there are bad times and stay when there are good times, that’s not marriage, that’s CONVENIENCE!!! Marriage stays through the thick and the thin, good times and bad times.

Mum and Dad we look forward to celebrating your 50^th wedding Anniversary with both of you still strong and alive, with all your children, great-grandchildren, and the huge family saying ‘well done’, ‘what a leagcy’ and ‘Thank you, God!’ I pray that God Himself who started with you will end with you successfully such that when you go, you’ll be laughing and smiling and people will be crying not because you have departed but because two great repositories of love have gone. We pray strength for the many years ahead. I love you