DON’T STILL HOLD THE GRUDGE

“Maturity is the ability to do a job whether or not you are supervised, to carry money without spending it, and to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.” — Ann Landers

                      I was praying today at dawn, I used to do that very often before but it starting getting inconsistent, now I’m picking up the habit all over again. Anyway that’s beside the point. I was asking God to forgive me of something I had done, staying away from His word and not being crazy about Him like I used to before and some other things. Then it hit me: God doesn’t hold our sins that we commit daily against us. When we keep on doing the bad things we do, He don’t hold it out against us but He still loves us, He still gives us food to eat, clothes to wear, a home to live in, people to love us, a job, a family. In short He still cares for us when we stop caring about Him whether believer or non-believer until we realize that He is the only solution to life itself then all this time He has been guiding us safely.

So why is it that we humans still hold on to grudges against our fellow brethren all the time and don’t let go of it? Some people still hold on to grudges for all their lifetime and nothing seems to work quite well. Thing is my friend, you are carrying a very load, a very burden all through life anywhere you go. It is true and until you learn to let go of offences you will be under the pressure of that burden. It doesn’t matter what someone might have done to you. ‘But what he did to me is unforgivable!’. Well my friend, it there’s something like unforgivable we wouldn’t be alive, because God would hold on to our sins and we won’t have forgiveness and then where would be we. Come on! Imagine a world without forgiveness and letting go of grudges, we would have wars upon wars every day. Why do you think wars start anyways? Because of grudges, misunderstandings, lack of love, disunity… God forgives you all the time, why can’t you do the same? I know some offences are terrible but don’t make it a lifelong grudge. The wisest man said that ‘Anger lies in the bosom of a fool…and never let the sun go down on your anger.’

Trust me this is not a ticket for doing anything you want against God because I said He won’t hold anything against you. Look there are some specific things you don’t want to do against God especially when His word has clearly said don’t otherwise you will suffer so many things which will take a lot of prayer to undo.

 What I’m saying is that don’t hold grudges against people. We are not perfect; my girlfriend says that all the time and that we are also human. Someone may had wronged you in betraying you, you had a terrible break-up, a family member treated you badly…look you wrong people all the time, I do it all the time but I’m quick to say sorry. You should be quick to say sorry all the time. So people will always step on your toes but forget it. Even if the person doesn’t, you let it go. I bet you will be freer than ever.  Someone may have insulted you in the class, in the school, trust me, from experience don’t say anything back, it will hurt the person more that you didn’t say anything back. Someone said, ‘count ten if you are very angry before you do anything else, if you are very angry, a hundred.’

Just let it go!

 

The Anger Factor

So often times some friends of mine, or people who have generally observed me have asked, “why don’t you get angry?” Others, “how come you don’t get angry?” Some still couldn’t believe and tried to step on my toes. Ohhhh no, wait people! Anger, I have been there people; when you get angry with people for days on end and when you may not even talk to someone you know for a while or forever. I have been there. Thing is I reviewed all those times and then came out with the conclusion from all those situations I got angry and realised that it was no use getting angry. No use! My cousin and brother Ben would say, “it is a waste of my face and mouth!” referring to his facial expressions and nasty and infuriated words. I have said it before don’t waste your time getting angry. Things could be done differently whether you’re the bad guy or not.

You know what anger does? It seems to drain and focus all your emotions (good and bad) into your “evil twin”. I love to be a person who is always cheerful and happy. Happiness is the only emotion apart from love that people would gladly purchase in a store if emotions were on sale. No please! Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that you would be able to keep yourself from being angry at somethings or some people. No! please you are still human! Clue is, don’t let it get to you. It is better to be angry once at something than stay angry forever.

I do something you don’t like and you have time and time again told me you hated it. Definitely you would get angry if I still persisted. Right? Yeah certainly but don’t allow yourself to be dragged into that emotion forever. Don’t waste your time getting angry because people would continually step on your toes for as long as you leave but think about it; you want to always be happy right? Good! Then we have to turn those times you get angry into happiness to have more of the latter feeling. I’m not saying fake happiness though it is a start. You know the thing they say about habits…they stick with you!!! So if we remain happy constantly it becomes a habit. Yeah you heard me! Feelings could be a habit. Clue is you will get angry but don’t stay angry. The wisest man, King Solomon even said, “don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” In other words your anger shouldn’t last for a day.

Don’t waste your time getting angry. It’s works and I’m now that way. People would try to make you angry even on the new course of action that you have chosen now.:) I’m not saying, that for kids that allow bullies to get to you. NO WAY!!! Be firm and like one movie I watched a father told his son, “show then who is boss” and remember don’t stay angry…two minutes is enough…a day is long over due. BE HAPPY!

 

Live, Love, Laugh!

I’m so sure that you have been probably asked that question, “why are you laughing,” by someone before when you were laughing and no one could see the reason or understand why? I think it’s so good to laugh and smile generally. A research conducted once by a group of scientists in a documentary I once watched on national television revealed that “laughing” and “smiling” was an important action that made people happy and feel bonded with their fellow men. Guess more what the research revealed; even animals do laugh. Honestly that’s where I confirmed the popular saying that, “laughing promotes long life.” Thinking of that, why shouldn’t it add more long life? A man that is depressed averaging one-third of his life: how long do you think he will live? Now imagine a man that has been laughing and smiling, generally happy the in same one-third of his life; how long do you think he can live? Which will live longest; certainly the happy person! I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say we should try and smile and laugh for a least one-third of each day. Then from one day, we have two, which later becomes a week.

Don’t think my words are strange, there aren’t. It happens even with you and around you, all the time. There are days were we feel so happy, probably for no reason, but most times for a particular reason; days that bring joy making us smile and laughs our hearts out. Could you imagine what brought this thought into being in this script? I always have the memory of a friend of mine in Grade 9. There was a spelling between boys and girls. It went one after the other, each person from both parties went to represent their wards after the previous set had finished spelling. There was only one word to spell for each set of opposing sexes. Well, and there was this friend called, Joseph who I just called after I had finished mine. (you call the next person from your sex when you are done) So it was Joe’s turn and the girl representing also was there, and the teacher gave the word; by this time if Joseph failed to answer correctly, we would have no chance of a competition in this spelling. Thankfully Joe’s hands went first immediately making the boys in the class so glad. The girl hadn’t made her mind yet. When Joe was asked to spell the words, guess what? He hopped three times to the left towards the girl (we, the boys didn’t really know what was going on but we laughed all the same, he was a funny guy and such of a dancer). After his seven seconds performance, he placed his finger on his lips and said, “errrrrrmmmmm!” as if now thinking about it. Amazed? Yes! Like you guess, the girls won the contest, after further trials. I always laughed back at this scenario when it plays back in my head. I couldn’t help thinking that Joe did all the dancing and now thought after the word after he was done! Yea, I know it isn’t a joke, but that’s a memory that make me laugh al the time and smile always on what he did!

I know for sure there are the occasion fights and quarrels, of course I’m human too, but it does not have to end there. At this moment I’m imagining a world that is free from wars, where people smile and laugh and love everybody the same; no need for discriminations and it’s surrounding underlines…wow! What do you see if you imagine that too? Yes! There will surely be NO world wars, cold wars civil wars and the others, why because, I make myself happy and don’t let things weigh me down. Like I always say, “you watch my back, I watch yours.” That’s the beauty of life!

I remember once laughing for no reason, I laughed for an entirely 10-20 minutes without having to stop. There was no reason for why? I made myself laugh; maybe you can too? My cousin who I was with, said, “Are you all right? Hey you are becoming mad.” Today was been a very happy day for me: ask me for the reason, I can’t tell you because I have searched and I hav still not found the reason. Hint: Just laugh at those funny and silly moments and cherish them. If madness is laughing and smiling I won’t like to stop that. Maybe you will agree with me that, certainly if I went out somewhere and saw two people at different places; one smiling alone and the other just looks like he is angry with the world! Who would you approach? For me, I would approach the soon to be pal who is smiling; surely I love talking to people when they have things to talk about, their issues, problems and all so I could also talk to the man who looks not-so happy but I would love to be with someone who is always happy in spite of circumstances, always being positive. It gets contagious you know, being around people that laugh and smiles all the time. Let’s pause for a second and tell me how many people who frown all the time are beautiful and appreciate life. I’m trying to think of one but I can’t. So there we have it laughter brings beauty and a positive life form. I think I’m going to be happy all the time, so don’t ask me why I’m laughing because I don’t know the reason myself:)

If you can’t find something to always to happy about, just think about those great times you spent with someone special, the things they said; maybe too the person is not in your family but you always free happy and less depressed (in case you still have some traces of sadness) around the person. I think those moments with the person when you reflect on afterwards will still bring some warmth and a smile on your face. After all like my theory goes, “What is life for, if not for sharing love with other people, then I don’t know what else?” Ohhh! Don’t get me wrong; I know how our day to day achievements (in life, schools, you know the awards and certificates and all) makes us very happy, but it doesn’t last because man also wants more and desires more of those successes. Surely, believe it or not but it is true. Let me ask you a question, the answer will prove itself. “Which moments do you remember being so happy?” Whether you think deep or not, you will still arrive at this common phenomenon; the times you were very happy were when you were with people or had a connection with people. You think I’m wrong? Ok, hold on a moment again and think about it; the answer remains the same, with people. So why shouldn’t you and I dedicate our lives to seeing people happy. Yes! I found it, maybe that is the reason for my always being happy. I love to put smiles on people faces and take off that burden generally. Many times after that I realize there is some inner joy within that surpasses those many laurels and awards that I work hard to earn.

Trust me; just one moment is enough to smile about. I had a friend that laughs very much. I really wanted to copy her way of laughing, I could never do it, but now I know I can laugh about anything and sometimes so no reason too.

Like I said before, if you had two people for instance and one just loves to get on their other friend’s bad side. Let’s say, for sometime the other pal did not want to retaliate. He just looked at him and smiled. Do you think the fight will still continue? Why? The guy who smiled didn’t push back making his opponent amazed and unable to continue. I know sometimes how our parents get. (If you are a parent it still applies to you too, after all you were once children). Most of the time our parents prevent certain things that we want to do, sure they do it out of love but they may step on your toes in the process. Here’s the clue; if they don’t say sorry, and keep complaining all the time about what is wrong with you, always saying negative things about you; don’t yell or scream, or argue. Just listen; it won’t kill you to listen, would it? Maybe she slaps you, (I hope she doesn’t). Hint: just smile. Maybe not only your parents or family but then outside someone you know argues with you. Sincerely it will be a lot better if you don’t argue with the person or saying something bad back; it will save you a lot of energy! Just ignore it. If you do: you save the peace of yourself and your neighbour. The thing is one party has to ignore the other for love and peace to continue, and smiling will really turn your friend on. He would not understand why you are smiling and not arguing. You would be a new person in his eyes. You will gain his respect; likewise the same ignoring theory prevents world wars. How? You see many wars are as a result of two different or same factions thinking one and greater than the other and the other also thinks, he has more power and is stronger. In the process to prove the toughest, many people die. Imagine now, that one faction ignores the other’s boast you think there will ever be war. I know there are other causes too for war, like a people trying to defend themselves from outside occupation. But imagine the ignore theory; we have some many peoples lives saved!

All I’m saying is the depression and bad moments and sad times aren’t worth it in the long run. I know we are humans, we do get sad sometimes, but don’t let it always get to you. Smile… you deserve happiness better than anything more in this life…just be happy! Now do me a big favour and just smile. For what? I think we are way past that now. You still aren’t smiling, are you?