STOP RUSHING, TAKE A BREAK & LIVE LIFE

                Sometimes I wake up and I wish I could stop time but I can’t. Every single day, of every single hour, of every single minute, of every single second, you and I are rushing through life. Someone said one day, “take the damn batteries from the clock and live life!” I’m serious now! How many of us enjoy the life around us? You wake up every day and then you begin thinking about worry, work, bills, expenses, office work, the new project, the kids which even won’t happen if I’m right whiles you are lying in bed. When you look at the clock next to the bed and then you rush through everything… Chances are, the way you start your day is the way you end it. You start rushing through it you’ll end rushing through it. “But what can I do, if I don’t hurry I’ll be stuck in traffic, if I don’t hurry I may never finish on time, if I don’t my boss will get angry at me, if I don’t…if I don’t…?” Enough with the ‘if I don’ts’. Why would you be rushing through things, my friend, chances are you are already late and that’s why you are rushing from home to beat the traffic. Well, I guess it is no surprise to you that you don’t the beat traffic anyways. Why? You were already late when you were before you left home in a rush and your whole day will turn out to be that way then you come back home and not filling satisfied and stressed and bored with life.

 

Take this from me, if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work then you can go on living your life of boredom and tiredness.”But my life isn’t boring or tiring.” Oh really you think it is not, maybe you haven’t checked yourself lately. Ok here it goes…take time to get out of bed and fantasize about all the good things you have in this life. For once, don’t think about what you want, your work, your goals, your aims, you do that almost every other hour in the day so do not start in bed.

• Say thank you to God first.
• Positively motivate yourself.
• Take time to appreciate all those around you.
• Say good morning to everyone you meet.
• Tell the special person or people how much you love them.
• Enjoy the beautiful scenery outside, take time to look at the colours of things –flowers and the greeny perhaps – around you, (I’m sure in doing that you might probably notice you wife’s new hair-do).
• Take time to look at every single detail, take time when you are even eating, bathing… If you do that every day before you get ready to live the house I promise you, you’ll feel happier and more energized to be able to go about the day’s task with ease filling more fulfilled. Even on your way to work:
• Enjoy the world around you.
• Listen to music.
• Talk to someone you haven’t talked to before, find out how they are faring, just take time to listen to someone.

If you try that for a week and you don’t see a change then you say I was wrong, and go back to your own life as you know it.

 

“But what if I wake up late! I’ll definitely have to rush.” Did I just hear the ‘what if’ again? Oh My God! If you can’t do it at the beginning of the day before you wake up from bed make time in between your day to do it trust me on this, doing it at the beginning is better…it runs through but if you can’t, make time in the day to do it. Don’t go through your day not having done it. I read somewhere once that try taking five minutes break in every hour that you are at work, you will be more productive. I didn’t say go and take a long vacation, just stop whatever you are doing and start appreciating people and things around you. Forget what you want and think about what you already have. When you do that, what you want will be easier to get, you will have better ideas, see more opportunities. Doug Larson said, “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” Look here, life’s too short to rush through (you don’t want it to end so fast, do you?) so take a break and enjoy life. If not for anything I’ll always remember my cousin Phyllis for something she wrote in her letter once to me, “Edwin, enjoy life to the maximum per second.” If I don’t my take time to get out of bed and appreciate the life around me I really don’t have a good and fulfilling day. At the end I realize I haven’t done anything worthwhile. I don’t know about you but one thing I know, when you take time to enjoy the beautiful things in life, you don’t want to do anything else. Don’t wait till the end before you regret not having taken the family out on the weekends, not having more leisure to do your hobby, not trying that sport, not taking enough breaks in life, not telling people how much you cherish them, not making up with that old pal…there are important things in life…life’s too short, don’t rush through it! CAPISH! So take break! If doesn’t have to be luxurious, just take a damn break from the rush hours of your life.

 

Humbled by BANKU

                  I know the title sounds unbelievable but I’m not kidding banku (a Ghanaian local dish) showed me how to be humble, not that I’m a proud person. No! Far from it. I learnt something more about being humble to people younger than you. Those who know me will probably tell you that they see as a humble person but this local dish taught me some lesson I’ll never forget about humility. Stick with me I’ll show.

In the family I’m raised in, it’s made up of me, being the eldest child and son, my cousin Ben who has been with us since when was seven, my two younger sisters and of course, the parents. In my house everyone knows how to cook by age 12 and I mean COOK. Yeah! My mom made a habit of getting us to the kitchen and giving us instructions about how to prepare the food and then she’d leave. She would always tell us the story of her big brother who went abroad and called then and said, ‘he wished he had studied how to cook.” I remember cooking as young as 12-13. When I usually tell ladies that I cook, they are go like, ‘Yeah right?!” I don’t know why it is so hard to believe. Just come and live in my house for three days and I bet you momma will get you cooking things.

It has always been a bone of contention as to who’s the best cook in the house among the children. We all knew the same recipe from momma so it was really hard to tell who was. So as time went on, we’d measure it by the one who knows how to prepare different foods that the rest didn’t know how to. My cousin, Ben had always been blabbering about me being the best in academics and computers but he claimed he was the best chef in the house. Well you couldn’t fight it he was the one who knew how to prepare a particular dish I hadn’t learnt how to yet. Ben lived with our grand-ma for some time and she showed him how, my mother hadn’t taught us yet for one reason or the either. So yeah when you always went outside the house and learnt a new recipe and it was good. You classified yourself as best. Yep Banku! But before I get there I have to tell you something. As an individual I hate it when people say I can’t do something. I hated when he always said he was the best chef and I go like, “okay on what criterion?” Then he could ask, “do you know how to prepare Banku?” Then I replied loudly, “that’s the only dish you are basing it on” and he would smile and say, “well yeah but you don’t know how to either” and of course I didn’t but my pride took the challenge on.

My mom had asked someone to prepare Banku for the evening’s dinner and got up and went to try it and oh my God! I made a mess of things. But even in the mess, I thought it will all get okay. Apparently I had put too much water in the mixture and so it wasn’t getting hard. It became like porridge. I remember Ben woke up and when he saw it, he said, “it will never get hard!” but I was resistant and said it would. And he left. After ten more minutes the mixture just wasn’t getting hard enough to be called Banku so I called him, “Charle! The banku isn’t getting hard oh.” I had to finish. I was running late, my parents were bound to get back any time soon and that thing still looked like porridge. He came and told that the same thing happened when he started the first time, he had put too much water in it and grand-ma shouted at him but should how to correct it later. So I watched him put more of the raw corn dough into the mixture on fire. I just watch this younger cousin of mine teach me how to do this thing. I was so made humbled by the experience. Here I was, being a little proud about doing something  hadn’t taken time to learn and my cousin teaching me how to. I don’t know if you understand but if you know this cousin of mine, he in a way looks up to me and some of the decisions I make mainly because I’m older than him, so me now having to learn from him was new but humbling. I know it made his head swell but I didn’t care. I learnt a lifelong lesson. It doesn’t matter who the person is before you whether he’s 7 or 70 years you’ve got to be humble. Humility doesn’t mean looking down on yourself. It means there are certain things you don’t know in this life, you have flaws but you are willingly to learn from whoever teaches you whether he’s 7 or 70.

Guess what? Just two days ago, we ate Banku and guess who prepared it. yeah Me! Ben wasn’t even there to eat some. Before he came home it was all gone. Yea you might think that now Ben and I probably know how to do all the same dishes but I know he still taught me how to make this very one. In my life and in cooking somewhat, I have taught Ben certain things about certain dishes and different things but I don’t think I can ever compare it to the value I learnt from him. And Yeah…I was humbled by banku.

 

Trip To The Mountains

As a sit here to write this early morning on Monday which I gladly welcome, I must tell you the truth the weekend for me has been hectic, amazing and interesting, all packaged in one.
This weekend was when my grandfather, the late J. K. Koppoe was buried. All through the laying in state, burial and thanksgiving, it was great. Great to see all those family members of old who assemble only at times like this. Hey! I even had the chance to see my mum’s elder brother who arrived from the States to bury his dad, my grandfather. Sometimes you know what I dislike about occasions like this. I’m sure you know. When the old folks see you all so grown up and manly now they keep recounting your baby days and never let you stop hearing it. People who took care of me when they came to visit back then when I was a baby see me and ask whether I know them, of course I don’t. How could I? They send me on assignments to find out who they are. When it is one person it could be very annoying then imagine several.
Anyways that’s not what I came to talk about…because this has nothing to do with trip to the mountains. Ohhh my grandfather was buried close to the sea and it was nothing to do with mountains, I know!

On Saturday which was the same day for going to bury grandfather finally was the only day in the month too when the family could go visit my sister at school. It’s an all-girls’ boarding school and visiting is allowed once a month, so if we missed this one, my sister would have to wait till April to see a family face again. Everyone was tied up in the funeral so I volunteered to go see her and send her things to her. My cousin Ben joined me. I know what you thinking. Why should my sister be at school when it is her grandfather’s funeral? Well, there’s this strict protocol with those schools: if it the child has to leave for a funeral it has to be someone very close, either her siblings or her parents. (period) nothing more so she couldn’t make it.
What was interesting about this trip was that was that my girlfriend always wanted to go see my sister, her school and just get out of the boring campus on weekends…lol. So knowing well she’ll like it I invited her. She initially didn’t want to go because I was going with my cousin but everyone in my family’s cool so she later decided to tag along. Even my cousin also didn’t want to go because he said we would put him in the back seat but he changed his mind…hmmm I wonder why?
My sister’s school, Aburi Girls is on the mountains. The journey there was nice, we were all talking and eating and laughing in the car. I was so happy Vida decided to join us, trust me it was worth it; having your woman sitting by your side on a long distance journey, oh boy! It’s good! You know the thing with travelling on the countryside in Ghana; no traffic and lots of free space to speed on but mind you; it could be dangerous with the sharp curves on the mountains so watch it!
My sister was so happy to see us since she was expecting us let alone three people. She came running and jump on me but no way, the girl had become too very to carry. I wonder what they feed them with. I though confinement in school and bad food coupled with the so many learning hours makes you skinny, (it made me) but…ohhh no, not for her! She hadn’t meet my girlfriend before and vice versa…long story short the two of them walked to my sister’s dorm laughing and talking, I wonder what about? Hmmmmm on the first day…well I’ll let you be the judge of that. When I asked them what they were saying they all declined to say something. The game is on now, huh?! We took pictures and all with some of Edwina’s friends. (Yep! Edwina is my sister’s name. I know don’t let us fool you, we aren’t twins. It represents more than that, A BOND) the picture taking was good for me because Vida always had excuses for not taking pictures, and my sister asking her to join us…sure she couldn’t refuse. LOL
It indeed turned out to be a great time for all the four of us. We meet so many of Edwina’s friend and yeah her school mother too, Lily. Oh I miss my sister’s loud voice. Anytime she saw her friends and wanted to call them to introduce them, shouting was no problem. I teased her that in a program she wouldn’t need a public address system. It was also great because my girlfriend finally met my sister and saw Aburi. Trust me if I hadn’t gone with her, she wouldn’t let me hear the end of it. I still remember the previous one…oh boy! My cousin also met up with some of his school mates (my cousin is in Senior High, but with his school its different. He took permission to come home for the funeral).
My sister really wanted to meet all the uncles and aunts. I guess they would have to pass by and see her. Then again that will be a whole string of permissions and signings, maybe sometime later. Sorry sis.
Could you imagine? I asked my sister to give me a peg and she declined saying Vida will give it to me for her. Jeeeeeeeeeeeeees! Now they are pulling stunts too on me already! Opps! We had to be getting back to the funeral. I was sure they had finished with the burial, dad called to confirm and we had to say bye to the girls and leave. You know that’s one thing I would remember this hectic weekend by, the string of those moments. With me everyone’s happy, I’m happy! Then we are back on the road, and my painful thigh had to drive too soon and Vida reminding me that when I wear my seat belt means I’m about to go turbo fast and then she buckles hers. Care to join?!

 

A Letter to Glen Pobee

Hello Cousin,

February 1989, the world birthed a fine young man so full of life and energy ready to light up our world but 3^rd March 2009 was too soon for the world to take you away.

The energies I know you carried went far and beyond your areas of jurisdiction, where you physically lived when you were here. Young, brilliant, up and coming you were and I know you were going to give a lot more to the world had it given you a little more time but we’ll remember the moments you shared with us all through your brief life with friends and family.

Some one once said that a man’s life is measured by those who talk more about him when he’s no more. I’m writing to tell you that friends and family all over are talking about you. They talk about the fine man you were, some say they never really had a chance to talk with you but loved your demeanour. Glen trust me when I tell you this you indeed left a big mark in so many people’s life, even those you may not have considered to be friends.

Cousin, friends and family are all mourning your departure and its hard on everyone, your mum and dad, your two lovely sisters and so many friends and families all together. Your departure was so sudden and unexpected that it has left everyone in a state of shock and pain.

Brother I came home this Thursday to help with preparations for grand-pa’s funeral and was told that the reason for which I came home -Aunt Nicole, your mum –to help with making slides for grand-pa’s funeral had rushed back to Canada on hearing of your passing away. I was dumbfounded and couldn’t speak. Glen tears wanted to stroll down my cheeks but I would not let them. Aggrieved and perplexed my state sat there in my seat for minutes that passed me by.

I write to tell you that we all deeply mourn for you and to promise you that we will be strong together as a family for I’m sure that’s what you wish for us now. We tell you that we will be the best in this world because you our brother let big shoes for us to fill in fulfilling what life wouldn’t give you time to.

I promise to remain true and faithful as a brother to your sisters and I promise to do everything in my power, God help me to care for them and watch over them even as you would do if you were here. To your parents I will be as their son and love them as you would. Not to say that anyone could replace you, of course no-one can’t but you being the first grandson of the family we know you will always be there. Whatever good you wanted you do, I will do. Whatever amazing you wanted to see, I will see. Wherever wonderful you wanted to go, I will go.

I pray for one thing that you are in a more peaceful and happier place you deserve to be. We say rest in peace! Opps! Cousin, before I end this letter, everyone wants me to tell you that they love you very much.

 

P.S. Reply soon…

 

 

Your brother & cousin,

Edwin.

 

Adom the graced #2

If you have read the first script on my cousin, I told you I will fill you in more on stuff on the amazing stories on her. I remember so many people telling me that all I just wrote on her was mainly about her hair. I wonder what people are going to say this time.

Well you by now, you will already now, I’m in Abidjan staying with her, though I will be leaving back to Ghana in a few days. Now back to her.

She has been my closest friend yet still a family relative in this country I found myself in. I recall one time during the beginning part of this year; I told her she is my sister. Guess what she said? “No! We are only cousins, not friends” She said that laughing. I remember her elder sister also making the comment one time, when she said I was kind of like, in her own language, bothering her. She said making those female hand gestures, “you and Adom (the woman in question) are friends, but you and I, are family!” I just stood there stunned. Maybe it was true but I have never really taken the thought like that before. But then come on folks! We were all cousins! Why the distinction? (I didn’t ask you for an answer; I know! )

Adom, my cousin, sister and friend… of course she’s a growing teenager with all those moods swings, which is very interesting to oversee… I prefer to call her woman, not a girl! In the long run she’s going to be one, if not already! Going back a little into time, I know I have really been worrying her. How do I know? She always tells me, but apparently she tells that to almost everyone, I bet you will be on that list soon!

Well it was this one day as always when I asked her to make some food for me, being as polite as always. Oh my God! You know what she told me, “ Go and prepare it yourself.”

“Ohhh!” I can see you almost saying that! I told her that I could but I just wanted her to prepare it for me. Shocked to the core when she told me, “then you aren’t hungry!” So unfair, you think? No! Because in the end I still got my food, she prepared it! Most at times when she is doing stuff for me, mainly cooking, she tells me, she isn’t going to do it the way I like it and she is going to add all those things I detest. You know how times our sisters get and with Adom, there no difference. It makes you kind of want to get close to her and when you do get close to her she says, “Don’t touch me!”

Hmmmm, with the don’t touch me issue. I mean what’s wrong with touching your sister’s hand, is there a problem. Sometimes I think it is one of those stages of teen years because my biological sister, Edwina is just like that. “Don’t touch me! It is not for you!” The latter part of the statement firstly sends me into a laughing jamboree but then when the show is over. I ask her, in this context Adom, “Me, your brother I can’t even touch you and then someone who at this moment we don’t even know, can! Hey… I mean you have a sister, have you ever had the moment with her before (if you are a brother). The whole little things with your siblings can blow your mind off.

 

Adom – the graced

When I talk about this woman, some would prefer to call her a girl. There are so many things that you would be surprised by her. Well she’s my cousin, from my paternal family side. I have barely stayed with her for a year. Of course, she goes to school in MGIS, where I work now, about to graduate from writing her IGCSE which she finished this week, and her SAT exams she completed on Saturday. Hope her all the best. There’s a whole story in this woman, many of you can learn, other parts in the plot that will go to amuse you.

Allow me to start from Tuesday. I came home from work to meet her in the most beautiful hairdo I have seen her make over the long time I have known her. Hope she wouldn’t take me wrong to think that was the only nice one I have ever seen, I mean you know us guys; things really do take our breath away!

Like I said I came from work, and we were having the usual Tuesday Bible study at home, where members of the church within our community came around to participate. I came in late with my uncle, I hadn’t seen her yet. I was so tired from the days work, but when I settled, OMG! Seeing her, made tiredness slip and my eyes beheld the glory! In her own words, she looked, “cutish” Wow! She was beautiful. Of course, you didn’t want to shout that out at a Bible study, would you? Well, then we closed the programme, when I shook her hands just like everybody there, I wanted to compliment her new look. The thing is, with her you just can’t tell if she really feels whatever you are saying or not. You know those mood swings. I had heard many “thank you’s” from her, that weren’t seemingly heartfelt. I don’t know if you have had that thing before. Maybe you gave your sister something, and she just said, “Ah! Thanks” You know, you just know whether to continue or not to give. I don’t know but I just didn’t! Maybe because, we just closed the meeting and we were all packing to go back. You know, you feel like it is not the right moment, so you would reserve it for another perfect moment same night.

I went down to my room to change. Just for your information, her room is upstairs. She came downstairs just to the sitting room. I heard her talking with a friend from the meeting, who was just waiting to join the others to go home. I thought she would pass by my room on that occasion, she always does. But this time she didn’t! You can’t believe that when she went up, she locked her door! So yea, tomorrow! I went to bed. Knowing how she was, I knew she probably didn’t like that I didn’t compliment, maybe? Like I said, with her you couldn’t really tell. I mean come on! Ladies, who wouldn’t want guy to compliment something nice you had on, forget a guy even, just anyone!

The next day, you know what happened! Yes even before that, she was not coming to school because she had finished her exams, and yeah! Surprising as it may sound, I didn’t see her in the morning before leaving to “school”. I left early with my uncle to work. We both leave early. Our rooms are downstairs and Adom and her sister, and her mother (my aunt) are upstairs, and the door to the top is lock, so if no one comes to open the door, you wouldn’t be able to go up. Yea, that’s what happened, we didn’t meet.

On arriving home yesterday night, I saw her going into the house. I think she went to buy something, or just for a walk. She has the same hair beautifully done again. I was in the car with my uncle, well, she didn’t even come to say hi or something. She saw us, of course, the car was parked right in front of the gate. Just that we couldn’t get down because, we had to take something down our street. Seriously of course if she came over and said hi, this doesn’t matter. I would have had a perfect chance to compliment her hair…but No!

We met later downstairs, talked for a while in my room. I told her I wanted to complete some work back some school on my computer in the hall. She said, “Okay! Then I’m going back to my room, I’m going to sleep” So I accompanied her up stairs through the kitchen. Now I was so tired, that I overlooked her hair this time. I just didn’t notice I hadn’t still said anything. I mean, a whole day gone without. How would you feel? When we were up the stairs we talked for a while and I had to leave again down. She said, “My hair, you see you have told me anything, you have even noticed.” Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I felt so bad! I tried to explain, that I had wanted to tell her since yesterday, that her hair was very beautiful. She just nodded, like the “yeah right you did!” kind of nod. At least that is what I saw. I felt so bad I went straight to my knees, like most times with her to apologize. She just nodded again. So this time I held her hands but to no avail. She pulled me by my hands, moving me away from the door, still on my knees! This time she came down the first stair, me on the upper side. She said, “You get up!” I replied still holding her hands, “not until you have forgiven me.” She stood this time, “get up, I want to go and sleep” I shifted away for her to pass still on my knees, “you can pass.” She didn’t, still insisting that I should be on my feet before she leaves. Then I said, “Forgive me, then I’ll get up” She nodded didn’t say nothing afterwards. So I said, “Have you forgiven me?” She nodded YES. I got up and watch her go inside and close the door. Then I nodded went back down to start my work. Sometimes I guess wonder, what goes on with women. You can’t know everything about them, can you?

That’s just from yesterday! I told you there’s a whole story with this woman. Imagine 6 months before! I tell you more soon.