I know! I know! The title of this post makes my ribs crack. Varsity is on vacation. I may get to work with UNDP or UNICEF or Vanguard Assurance as an intern but I’m still waiting for any to workout. I just think the UN one just might but you never know what God has in store for me. Why the heck I’m I talking about internship?   I’m supposed to be talking about my parents.

             It’s been crazy a bit with them lately. My dad is left with one year more on his MBA program and my mum is completing her degree in Entrepreneurship by next week. Yeah…my parents are all going to school. Being candid now; the whole house is. It is about exams time for them (my parents). Oh my word you should see them learning and cracking their brains and all. It is not what you’d expect normal parents to do. Usually they come back from work all tired and probably have dinner with the family and watch some tv and talk and people start getting into bed but here it is very unlike that scene. (Forgive me if I left something out…trying to make it general )

             You should see my parents all gathered around the dining table and mind you they are not eating…they are studying. Books are all over the place, papers and pens. The television is in the hall so then it becomes much of a problem if it is too loud which wouldn’t have been so on a normal day. It is no problem for me since I don’t watch a lot of television. I’d rather watch my collections of movies I haven’t seen yet and believe me, there’s always something to watch. No but seriously like this morning I was left with them at home; everybody else was in school. I was cleaning the kitchen and sort of like talking to them as usual asking unnecessary questions and my dad goes like ‘hey you are talking too much. I’m trying to get this thing into my head and every time you talk…you are distracting me’. My mum then said ‘you are talking too much’ dad responds, ‘he’s finished with his exams and he is here to worry us. Hurry up and leave the kitchen’. All this time their heads are stuck into the books. I was laughing and laughing. Not too loud to be annoying. :O I came back and found my dad standing by the window trying to remember something and writing it out. Eeeeeh! My father, cramming!!! lol

             Later on after dinner, I finished and came to meet my dad washing the bowls and stuff. Damn! He usually doesn’t do that. I mean he never does except probably only his and that one is sometimes but today he was doing the whole lot. My dad washing?!!! I was shocked. I heard the tap running from my room and thought my sister had gone to wash the dishes like I told her to but I should have known better. Davida will never do it until you pressure her. LOL. I got there and met my dad washing and I was like…omg! I asked and he said he was releasing tension. Anyways it was nice to se him do it. I think once a while fathers should let the mums relax for like a week or something so that they take over the kitchen. It’s funny seeing the dad doing it something. Like it said…it’s funny but cute though.

            Eeeeeeeeeeeh! I thought young people only said that during exams -releasing tension. Guess I was wrong but these last days have been CRAZY. Don’t get me wrong but having parents schooling like their own children is a funny sight. I understand them parents nowadays, if you don’t get informed you’re be left out. I wish them all the best in their exams. And daddy, enough with the Masters already. How many do you want?  LOL

 Any of you folks got oldies in the university? Tell me about it.

Hello Cousin,

February 1989, the world birthed a fine young man so full of life and energy ready to light up our world but 3^rd March 2009 was too soon for the world to take you away.

The energies I know you carried went far and beyond your areas of jurisdiction, where you physically lived when you were here. Young, brilliant, up and coming you were and I know you were going to give a lot more to the world had it given you a little more time but we’ll remember the moments you shared with us all through your brief life with friends and family.

Some one once said that a man’s life is measured by those who talk more about him when he’s no more. I’m writing to tell you that friends and family all over are talking about you. They talk about the fine man you were, some say they never really had a chance to talk with you but loved your demeanour. Glen trust me when I tell you this you indeed left a big mark in so many people’s life, even those you may not have considered to be friends.

Cousin, friends and family are all mourning your departure and its hard on everyone, your mum and dad, your two lovely sisters and so many friends and families all together. Your departure was so sudden and unexpected that it has left everyone in a state of shock and pain.

Brother I came home this Thursday to help with preparations for grand-pa’s funeral and was told that the reason for which I came home -Aunt Nicole, your mum –to help with making slides for grand-pa’s funeral had rushed back to Canada on hearing of your passing away. I was dumbfounded and couldn’t speak. Glen tears wanted to stroll down my cheeks but I would not let them. Aggrieved and perplexed my state sat there in my seat for minutes that passed me by.

I write to tell you that we all deeply mourn for you and to promise you that we will be strong together as a family for I’m sure that’s what you wish for us now. We tell you that we will be the best in this world because you our brother let big shoes for us to fill in fulfilling what life wouldn’t give you time to.

I promise to remain true and faithful as a brother to your sisters and I promise to do everything in my power, God help me to care for them and watch over them even as you would do if you were here. To your parents I will be as their son and love them as you would. Not to say that anyone could replace you, of course no-one can’t but you being the first grandson of the family we know you will always be there. Whatever good you wanted you do, I will do. Whatever amazing you wanted to see, I will see. Wherever wonderful you wanted to go, I will go.

I pray for one thing that you are in a more peaceful and happier place you deserve to be. We say rest in peace! Opps! Cousin, before I end this letter, everyone wants me to tell you that they love you very much.

P.S. Reply soon…

Your brother & cousin,

Edwin.

Grand-pa we always use to call you. The senior-most father we were blessed to have. It had always been fun when you were around. You lightened everyone with your contagious jokes especially with us children about your days of old and stories about our parents and the way they were sometimes troublesome and how you brought them up well. It was more fun when they told us about your youthful days in exuberance and manly exploits. Sometimes hearing about you made us wish you were our father but God knew why he made us your grandchildren and we say we love you so because you were the best grand-pa God could ever give to us.

We all take turns now to look up to the heavens where we know you look down upon us smiling at the wonderful life you gave us. We look now, not at the few times we shared with you but the little moments that look our breaths away when you had us in your arms. Your smile, your speech, your handshakes, your hugs and your love we will always remember.

We, your so many grandchildren and gorgeous great grand-daughter that life blessed you with take a vow, to be the best we can ever be so that the whole world will know that we had a grandfather who bequeathed his many good qualities (love, honesty, respect, hard work, integrity, truth, discretion, faithfulness, discipline and above all, humour) to us, made us who we are today and who we will be tomorrow.

We remember the many times when you told us that, “life’s opportunities come and go but those who make it, grab the best of them,” and so we will.

The last days of your life were sad because even by your bedside you could not share jokes with us anymore due to you deteriorating health. The fleeting nature of time took you away from us and deep down in our hearts though we know it brings us pain, we rejoice all the same because we know also that you are in a more peaceful place with the Father of this world who gave and who has taken away.

Grand-pa we say rest in peace. We love you!

Edwin Bonney

This poem here wasn’t written by me…it was written in honour of my grandfather for his funeral.

DEATH IS ONLY A PART OF LIFE

We enter this world

            from “THE GREAT UNKNOWN”

And God gives each SPIRIT

             a form of its own

And endows this form

             with a heart and a soul

To spur man on

            to his ultimate goal…

For all men are born

             to RETURN as they CAME

And birth and death

             are in essence the same

And man is but born

             to die and arise

For beyond this world

             in beauty there lies

The purpose of death

             which is but to gain

LIFE EVERLASTING

             in GOD’S GREAT DOMAIN

And no one need make

             this journey alone

For GOD has promised

              to take care of his own.

Mrs. Helen Steiner Rice

I talked to my mum last 3 weeks, and I got to know that her dad, my grand-dad passed on, on Tuesday to A MORE PEACEFUL PLACE. I remember the last time I saw him; he was in so much pain. It was a Sunday when my parents and I went to see him after church. He wasn’t able to go to church because of the pain. Grand-ma had been saying in the last week before the Tuesday that he acting unusually strange. Maybe it should have clicked but why would anyone think that his time was near.

            I remember my mother saying that when he was younger he claimed that when he was older he would prefer to die than be a burden to anyone. Well, words, words however much you refuse the power in it, they work. Warning people!!!

            If for nothing at all, I’ll forever remember the funny and humorous nature of the man. He was a really nice person who would joke about everything. The nice things my mind could form about the man was the way he related with everybody especially his in-laws. Many times when issues came up, he would agree more with his in-laws than his own children. I had seen it many times with my parents and the way he would joke about it would make you agree with him. There was one time (I don’t really remember the very details) but I think my mum, his daughter and my dad and the family went to see him on one of those Sundays (we almost always went there on weekends mostly Sundays) and my mum was drinking on of her concotions which she said would make her tone down and my dad was like, “you take this things way too much.” Thinking at least a father would go with his daughter, he would support my dad and say, “all these things don’t work, if you fat, you fat.” Yeah right! Even he didn’t believe that.

              It was nice growing up among my grand-parents, especially since they were the first couple I saw blessing their marriage in a church way when they were very old. I remember being a page-boy with my cousin Ben at that wedding. He had six strong, ambitious children with my grand-pa and they loved each other so much.

             Mum’s stories about grand-pa were mostly the stories he told them when they were young and that the man had so much hair all over is body. She said when they were children, she and her siblings would braid the man’s hair on his stomach or was it his back or both…hmmmmmm…the man was hairy. But then he lost all when I met him.

            You know the irony of his death. His wife, my grand-ma thought she would die before him but nope…God does is own things His way.

Grand-pa we love you. Rest In Peace.  

If you have read the first script on my cousin, I told you I will fill you in more on stuff on the amazing stories on her. I remember so many people telling me that all I just wrote on her was mainly about her hair. I wonder what people are going to say this time.

Well you by now, you will already now, I’m in Abidjan staying with her, though I will be leaving back to Ghana in a few days. Now back to her.

She has been my closest friend yet still a family relative in this country I found myself in. I recall one time during the beginning part of this year; I told her she is my sister. Guess what she said? “No! We are only cousins, not friends” She said that laughing. I remember her elder sister also making the comment one time, when she said I was kind of like, in her own language, bothering her. She said making those female hand gestures, “you and Adom (the woman in question) are friends, but you and I, are family!” I just stood there stunned. Maybe it was true but I have never really taken the thought like that before. But then come on folks! We were all cousins! Why the distinction? (I didn’t ask you for an answer; I know! )

Adom, my cousin, sister and friend… of course she’s a growing teenager with all those moods swings, which is very interesting to oversee… I prefer to call her woman, not a girl! In the long run she’s going to be one, if not already! Going back a little into time, I know I have really been worrying her. How do I know? She always tells me, but apparently she tells that to almost everyone, I bet you will be on that list soon!

Well it was this one day as always when I asked her to make some food for me, being as polite as always. Oh my God! You know what she told me, “ Go and prepare it yourself.”

“Ohhh!” I can see you almost saying that! I told her that I could but I just wanted her to prepare it for me. Shocked to the core when she told me, “then you aren’t hungry!” So unfair, you think? No! Because in the end I still got my food, she prepared it! Most at times when she is doing stuff for me, mainly cooking, she tells me, she isn’t going to do it the way I like it and she is going to add all those things I detest. You know how times our sisters get and with Adom, there no difference. It makes you kind of want to get close to her and when you do get close to her she says, “Don’t touch me!”

Hmmmm, with the don’t touch me issue. I mean what’s wrong with touching your sister’s hand, is there a problem. Sometimes I think it is one of those stages of teen years because my biological sister, Edwina is just like that. “Don’t touch me! It is not for you!” The latter part of the statement firstly sends me into a laughing jamboree but then when the show is over. I ask her, in this context Adom, “Me, your brother I can’t even touch you and then someone who at this moment we don’t even know, can! Hey… I mean you have a sister, have you ever had the moment with her before (if you are a brother). The whole little things with your siblings can blow your mind off.

I had no reason to want to live

Happiness was not a consistent factor

I had no passion for life

Love came surely from family and friends

I had no purpose in life

I felt unfulfilled

In the nights I did not want to wake up

I prayed to God;

To prevent all my worthless living

To make me not see the light of day in flesh

But He never did

Then I had a dream

A dream that my creator wanted me

To be the leader of His people;

A dream that pushed me on

A dream that gave me a purpose for life

A dream that granted me the desire to keep on living

Now!

I no longer want to die

I surprisingly do not want to sleep for long

For there’s a lot to be done

I have a mission to fulfill

If I die without doing it

Then I would be useless

He did not give me a reason to only live on

I had a reason

To give my all

And now to die for the cause

A cause I will die for trying

My time is short

Three score and ten and a few more

I have a lot to do

So I pray for life each day

And He grants it to me

The year with them has already gone to fast to believe. I wonder if when I was in high school it was the same with me. But hey, guess what? Today I got to see them graduate such a grand joy for them. It surely was…or tell me wouldn’t you he happy on your graduation day? “Why certainly, I will?” I can almost hear you say now.

Well, there have been two graduations in the past two weeks; the kids passing out from kindergarten to grade one and just on Sunday, the Grade 12’s passing out to the university. Right now let’s just forget the former graduation with the little kids; but that too was beautiful. I just at the moment want to concentrate on the latter, after all, that crowned the whole academic year.

The ceremony was beautiful, surprised many, even I, as the long drawn programme didn’t outlast it estimated timing. What I call, short but beautiful.

Preparations for this programme were so tiring. Right now reflecting on the whole issue, I can see my uncle, Isaac working tirelessly, whether with passion or not; he’s the only one that can answer. What is so sure; the man works so hard, much harder during school festivities. Well, we always arrive in school early, leave very late: just to make sure that all is perfect all the time. Opps! Last I remember we were talking about the graduation not my uncle.

Anyways, allow me start from the few minutes before the commencement of the whole show. My cousin, Adom by now you should know her- the very source of most of my articles and reflections- walked into my corner in the office building where some prefer to call an office. She was in the most beautiful attire, you could ever imagine. How far can you imagine? Only to find out later that her simple black and white attire was among the best. I know she’ll disagree, and so many others too but trust me, I know what I saw. You would have agreed with me too if you saw her. She called her attire, “too dressy!” I wonder what that means because if being appropriately dressed for an occasion is, “dressy,” then I think we should all be dressy then, don’t you think? She claimed her mother wanted her to wear that for the occasion. She didn’t want to, up till the time I saw her. You know what? I think sometimes we do need mothers to tell us what to do. I know sometimes they can be…but on this occasion mother was right. Hmmmm, and when was mother ever wrong?

Around the next few minutes, the parents, children, friends, students and graduates starting filing into the main grounds. The ceremony was amazing like I said; drama performance portraying the different nations and cultures in the school, – it is an international school – some doing their native dances missing little steps but it still added to the beauty of the programme when friends and family see their little children in Grade 1 to Grade 5 trying their best to show to the world what they know of their roots. I smiled and laughed throughout especially when a sweet first grader called Kenza who claimed she was “Dzula” – a tribe in Ivory Coast, and I don’t think she is – was missing some of her dance steps. Awwww! She looked adorable doing it; trying hard to keep up with the music beats; thinking in her minds eye that she was doing her best and sure she was! There was of course a singing performance by the Choir of the Juniour and Senior High choir, which didn’t really thrill me that much – they have been singing the same songs throughout the few festivals in the one year I have been here! – No offense but it has to stop; some guy picks up the microphone, grips it like some hip hop artiste, supposing to be the best lead voice. The first guy who led before him was better. But of course with him also, today of all days he decided to lose his voice. So just like his other lead vocal, they kept singing phrases with was repeated by the whole choir – amazing voices! You should have heard. I’m not trying to brag or anything but I do sing well than what I saw today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for appreciating talent but when that talent refuses to sit down and rehearse for the big stage, NO I can’t buy that! We are not going to let this ruin our final academic day, are we? Certainly not!

Now! The part I love is where the graduates procession past the audience. Short, tall, fat, slim, they all were there. When the headmistress gave her speech and final word to them, she told them, “…once a glorian always glorious…!” That sentence moved me. It had been derived from the school’s name, Morning Glory International School. They were now venturing into a, “new world, new challenges, new adventures,” said the Head Boy, my buddy Marc, the valedictorian. Yes! There is more work after this stage of their lives now passing. I pray that God keeps them in their new areas of this challenging life and remain strong, and certainly, “be glorious!”

The programme ended with photo shoots and then after they was going to be the after parties. I was invited for one but I was too tired to go, I know Gina- the now graduate, ex-head girl of the school- will understand. I had some many hugs from many of the graduates, some who were even taller than me (The high heels today made it worse). I love hugs and I love receiving and giving then too; besides I was not going to see them again next academic year, I have to now return back to my country to school in a few weeks.

It just hit me! I’m therefore not going to see all those beautiful, adorable, some times annoying little graders. I remember embracing Babalwu warmly. A young girl in grade five before she left – a girl I call my sister, so sweet – I had to tell her I may not see her next year because I will be leaving to the university in a few weeks. I’m going to miss her very much just like Faikat, a fourth grader who refuses to talk to me because I didn’t fulfill my promise of getting her a diary; likewise Aurelia her mate, who has a wonderful talking voice and the wil to make sure things are done right in her class. Chelsea, another third grader, originally from my country Ghana, born in America. The list goes on and on and on!

Indeed God gave such his son to die for us; but he also gave us friends in wherever we found ourselves; to portray His love to us through them. One year with MGIS has been a tiring and interesting one but indeed an experience.

I’m of the opinion that women are the most valued of the human race. If you do not agree with me then probably you just don’t want to believe it or you haven’t ever received a mother’s love otherwise you just want to be too much of a MAN- it doesn’t matter of you never saw your mother alive- The world has birthed so many mothers for us to care for us.

My cousin recently made a comment, “it is true; men are like big babies.” She said it because I was bothering her so much – I always do – to prepare some meal for me. Of course I could cook, but sometimes when there’s a woman in the house, you just want to eat her dish. Oh! Don’t even bring it on here; I know men who can cook. I mean COOK till you lick all the food from your plate; and I didn’t mean my father, Well, like I was saying about my cousin before I interrupted myself; hmmm I wonder how that is possible, is it? I did it again!

If you ever really taken great caution, so many times your sister (if you are a guy), really acts like your mother. You may call it, a mother in the making but that’s what I notice sometimes with my cousin and my sisters though they are younger than me, of course some of my female friends too. Now! I don’t want to go in to talk about none of those; I want to talk about my birth mother. I still have the privilege of having her around me. I thank God for that. Of course, not mine only, your mum too. I’m not selfish you know.

Where can I begin? There’s so much to say when it comes to women. Well, my mum is charming and sweet, just like your mum is, unless maybe you have not really looked at that woman in your life. I’m sure she is.

Most of the time, when I’m watching Ghanaian local movies, there’s always a phrase mothers use when talking with their children, especially when they refuse to listen to instructions; “I carried you for nine months!” My mum used it often when trying to sweeten the bitter pill, especially when it came to do certain things for her she knew didn’t enjoy doing. And indeed she carried me for nine months. With my mother she didn’t have the normal birth delivery when she had all her three children, including me being the first. She had to undergo operation to remove the baby. I thank God she survived. Some times I tease her that she’s going to have another baby, when I look at her big stomach. She goes like, “No!” and then we both laugh on it. Of course there’s a time to say NO! – she has been trying to work on her stomach to reduce the size, taking in all those liming tea and some homemade stuff. I hope she can because I really have not…let me not continue-

Many times I look at my mother and wonder where she gets her strength from, because she sure doesn’t relax like all of us when she’s tired; she stands on her two feet till she’s done with all she’s doing. Her favourite phrase when she gets tired, “I’m not tired,” trying to put herself in a mental state to stay on finishing all she has to do! I look at my little sister now, Davida when she goes to bother my mother as though- she didn’t know she was busy-, and asks her which sock should she wear today to school. Mum busy as usual will stop everything and gives the full attention to her child. I wonder how they do it. Mothers wake up very early in the morning to make sure that their husband and children are prepared well to start the day- breakfast and things for school prepared. By this time in the morning when they are done, if they haven’t already taken their bath then they have to rush to do it, because their boss at work also doesn’t like latecomers. I just remembered one time when I just met my mum coming out of her bathroom and she was sweating heavily. She knew I’d seen her sweating and she joked, “It is the heat.” We both laughed over it after which she went to her room to dress. Almost finished, she called me in to close her zip behind her green blouse. The woman was still sweating! She was trying to push all her things into her bag at the same time, looking for her ear rings that she believed that my little sister had come in to play with. Tearing through her bag again, she found it! “Maybe Davida didn’t take it after all”. Oh mothers what can we do without them? Now the same woman undergoing work pressure has to come home early to make some thing for the family to eat, wow! I just paused now to take a take in all I have written before starting this new line. It’s almost midnight now; reflecting on my mum. I think you will agree with me that women all over the world whether you will it or not have this indescribable virtue that makes them stronger than me. Of course, we have got the muscles but… Take for instance this play I watched recently in church doing the mother’s day celebrations this year. To cut the whole story short, there was a man who came home one day from work. Fortunately his wife met him at the door and helped him into a seat in the sitting room. Suddenly, the wife called for one of her children. Shouting, her husband told her to stop, “Why is it that always you are calling for the children. It is always this child and this person and that”. The wife surprised but calmly responded, “I’m preparing your food in the kitchen. I just want the children to come and take your bag to the room and bring you some water.” The man now brought forth the main issue; he claimed that his wife now paid more attention to their children than to him. At the point when the man spoke, the whole congregation watching the drama laughed. Seriously, the man had no point but read what happened. Now the wife had to calmly convince the man that she loved him and all that she was doing was for him. In addition she said, “You know you are my first darling then after comes the children.”

You can call the husband crazy and the play a comedy, but that’s not my concern. What I want to draw to your attention is the woman’s behaviour; she didn’t shout over the meaningless matter. I know for sure that when her child later comes and makes the same complain that mummy loves this person in the family more than him or her, she will find a way to restore confidence in the child, that she loves him more. I know women are capable of that, but like I said I wonder how they do it. Just off the record; let’s say the woman spends all that time convincing her husband of her love, don’t you think that after she’ll all of a sudden that screaming, like your mother or maybe my mother rather , “Eh! My food is burning!”

Maybe you haven’t really given a chance to your mother to prove how she loves you, I know she does. Remember their phrase, “I carried you for nine months…” Maybe you can end this phrase for them. She doesn’t necessary have to be your birth mother. Like my mum told me at dawn one day before I packed for a journey whiles praying with her on the same journey topic to God, “In life you’ll meet a lot of mothers. The aunt you are going to stay with, she’s going to be your mother now, learn to appreciate her.”

I’ll leave you here to think about that special mother in you life.

Last week, I went to a shop to buy recharge units for my phone. I wanted to call my mum back in Ghana. I missed

home, but that’s not the point here. Stay with me on this one! After the man handed me the card, I asked him to scratch off the silver panel that reveals the secret code for recharging phone credit. He said, “No problem!” He took it from me and kindly did what I asked. I didn’t have a coin on me to do it myself. After he handed me back the card in the process of walking away, I was hitting the buttons on my phone then the man called me and guess what? “You forgot your change!” I didn’t forget I wanted to test his will. Almost few centimeters away, “Oh It’s ok!” I whispered to him. The man was SHOCKED! You could tell from his face. Maybe no one had done that to him before. I don’t know. His emotions and smiles just made me smile too.

Next day, I went to see this man again in the shop to buy soap that night. The man thanked me so much for yesterday. I said, “hey never mind” I bought my soap, and this time again I left the change. This time the change was much smaller than the other one. He drew my attention again when I walked away. This time I only waved, and he understood. The man nodded his head and smiled again. That one moment made me happy; putting a smile on a fellow brother’s face. Same thing happened with a taxi driver. He dropped me home one day from church. I gave him the money when we arrived and he claimed he didn’t have change. I was not surprised, it always happened when the money is a bit large. Maybe I was his first passenger for the day, who knows? You know happened? I told him to keep the change. Yes! Of course I know the change was big, but I just told him to keep it and got down fast, shut his door. The man pulled his head through to see me on the other side. He asked, “Are you sure?” I just nodded and smiled, and he said, “thank you, sir.” Hey the man was way older than I was. He could have been the same age with my father. I noticed that as he turned his car and drove away, he couldn’t keep his eyes off me. Maybe he thought I was some angel that had come down to assist him that day so he waiting to see if I would disappear…of course I couldn’t. I just walked through the gate. Whatever the man thought didn’t matter to me. I made someone smile today and that’s what matters.

I’m not saying leave all your change anytime you visit a shop, sometimes you do need it, I know. Just perform those little acts of kindness to people you meet. You think you can’t! Look out for opportunities to make people smile today. I’m sure you can, that’s easy!