A Letter to Glen Pobee

Hello Cousin,

February 1989, the world birthed a fine young man so full of life and energy ready to light up our world but 3^rd March 2009 was too soon for the world to take you away.

The energies I know you carried went far and beyond your areas of jurisdiction, where you physically lived when you were here. Young, brilliant, up and coming you were and I know you were going to give a lot more to the world had it given you a little more time but we’ll remember the moments you shared with us all through your brief life with friends and family.

Some one once said that a man’s life is measured by those who talk more about him when he’s no more. I’m writing to tell you that friends and family all over are talking about you. They talk about the fine man you were, some say they never really had a chance to talk with you but loved your demeanour. Glen trust me when I tell you this you indeed left a big mark in so many people’s life, even those you may not have considered to be friends.

Cousin, friends and family are all mourning your departure and its hard on everyone, your mum and dad, your two lovely sisters and so many friends and families all together. Your departure was so sudden and unexpected that it has left everyone in a state of shock and pain.

Brother I came home this Thursday to help with preparations for grand-pa’s funeral and was told that the reason for which I came home -Aunt Nicole, your mum –to help with making slides for grand-pa’s funeral had rushed back to Canada on hearing of your passing away. I was dumbfounded and couldn’t speak. Glen tears wanted to stroll down my cheeks but I would not let them. Aggrieved and perplexed my state sat there in my seat for minutes that passed me by.

I write to tell you that we all deeply mourn for you and to promise you that we will be strong together as a family for I’m sure that’s what you wish for us now. We tell you that we will be the best in this world because you our brother let big shoes for us to fill in fulfilling what life wouldn’t give you time to.

I promise to remain true and faithful as a brother to your sisters and I promise to do everything in my power, God help me to care for them and watch over them even as you would do if you were here. To your parents I will be as their son and love them as you would. Not to say that anyone could replace you, of course no-one can’t but you being the first grandson of the family we know you will always be there. Whatever good you wanted you do, I will do. Whatever amazing you wanted to see, I will see. Wherever wonderful you wanted to go, I will go.

I pray for one thing that you are in a more peaceful and happier place you deserve to be. We say rest in peace! Opps! Cousin, before I end this letter, everyone wants me to tell you that they love you very much.

 

P.S. Reply soon…

 

 

Your brother & cousin,

Edwin.

 

Friends I made this semester pt.2

Remember I said I will get to part two on the people I met during my first semester. Well times really flies huh? Christmas is already over and New Year is here. How did the season go for you? At least I know my next semester is few days away.

Who I’m left with? Hmmmmmmm Oh yes there’s Nakour. She a very nice person, at least if you don’t get on her toes like everybody. She ‘s not too older than I am, I like to think it that way. She’s fair and short. I got introduced to her by Rabi (remember my sister in school I talked about earlier. Wrote a whole post on her) and the two of them are very good friends. The three of us were eating together mostly during the evenings in school. There were somedays that Rabi would go home and Nakuor will cook for us to eat. First time when I met her I thought she was probably acting friendly but I realized she is. It is her personality. On the first day you meet her, she could talk , talk, talk, talk and talk as if she knew you from long ago. I remember one time in school she was escorting me from her place and we started talking. We talk for hours on end till I realize it was midnight and the only thing that stopped the conversation was that I had a call from a friend who loves to talk a lot too. I hate to say it, but I don’t know why I’m a good listener?!! She cooks good too. She once cooked this meal, I have forgotten the name again, some French name…it was good…yum-yum…but when you saw all the things she was putting in it, you would go like, “what is all this you’re putting in?” I remember once Rabi once told me that she liked Nakuor’s company because sometimes you wanted to talk to someone who’s more mature than you are and who would advice you better, and that’s Nakuor. She has remedy for everything you tell her about. Trust me she would be a very good mother to any body. Sometimes I hate it, you know when your lady friend tries to act like your momma. I don’t have a big sister so you know. Hmmmmm come to think about it. She called me like twice already this vac. I haven’t even called once but I messaged. I know she’s going to kill me.

Let me round this up with by talking about the a fine, crazy lady, Alex. Alex’s is Vida’s deary…I don’t know something of like her best friend and Vida is my girlfriend. OK, we usually call Alex, Lexi. Ok V, was calling her that before I met them. Lexi’s crazy, she always has to let me know she has got the power to undo my relationship with Vida. She goes like, “Edwin you know you have to me nice to me but I could do something, you know?” We fight and fight over it and then I just agree. I ask Vida and we laugh about it and tells me I should get ready cos Lexi is going to echo that to me for the rest of my life. Jeeeeeeeeeeeees! But I moved because I know that Lexi likes the fact that Vida and I are going out. You should see Lexi walking. It not the way you normally walk she has the fast way of walking with moving her body at the same time. I teased Vida that she walks like Lexi. You should have seen the way she said, No!!! Lexi’s a sweet person, but she got some rules surrounding the kind of person she wants to go out with. I won’t tell you otherwise….hmmmmmmm…naaah you won’t make it.

There are several more, it’s endless there’s Afua who complains about guys a lot. She talk about stuff, at least we both think it’s that way. She has this thing with her. She say her head shape is some way. She doesn’t see herself as beautiful as people do. She is very pretty. I tell her that but of course you know my theory beautiful girls never say they are. There were times people told me that the girl I was walking with is very beautiful which was her. I told her and she goes like, “wow! That’s nice. It actually came from a girl” Yea, she said guys would lie but it’s kindda nice coming from a girl. She likes to overly admire ‘fine’ guys. I have a problem wit her, the first thing that she would fall for is the physical appearance and then usually knowing her she finds out the guy is so bad then she starts complaining. She is a fun person to hang out with and she doesn’t like to be considered as coming from a well to-do background. “Edwin, you don’t know my family!” yea I don’t judge people before meeting them so I’ll wait and find out. Her relationship life according to her has sucked somewhat blaming it on guys but then maybe her choice of guys would be the thing we once talked about. She alwas has this thing where guys are all the same. When I complain she says, “fine, then it’s probably from my past experiences. I havent’ met anyone nice yet.”

 

Friends I made this semester

I told you this was my first semester and it was crazy…I met so many people. I honestly don’t know if I could mention everyone here. Now where should I start. Wait a minute, don’t go yet. Some of them are so crazy you won’t believe it. This is going be a long one, A FRIENDLY ADVICE, get yourself a cup of coffee or juice, I prefer juice…before anything can somebody please explain to me why white people especially like coffee, or the movies lie, don’t think so? Any one? Whiles we are waiting for anyone to say something on that let’s met some of the people I met this semester.

Let’s start with Gifty, why her first…do you have to ask? JEEEEEEEEEEEEES! Anyone can start. but on a more serious note, it is because of how we became friends. I had met her a couple of times in my Spanish class and Psychology class. Mind you the classes are huge and sometimes it had to even know your own pal is in the class. She is good looking, has a big smile on her face. Mind you, when that face gets angry you are going to want to hide behind some fences. I know Gifty I’m exaggerating a bit. She’s coo, but the interesting part is yet to unfold. One day I go going home and we happen to sit in the same bus, we are both going home for the weekend, after psychology…it was a little after 1900. I saw the person but I knew I recognized her from class. The whole time I was watching when the woman sitting beside her would alight. He didn’t until we got down. I wanted to sit with her and talk. I mean how bad could it get. Anyway we all go to the stop, we had to take another bus to our various homes…hey we live in different places. Well, when she alighted she started walking as fast as he wind. Now how the heckwas I going to trail her. I did, because of the little human traffics her and there. When I got to her I poked her and she turned, I introduced myself and of course you know the ladies, oh ok? but I haven’t seem you in class before and blah, blah, blah. So told me her name, mind you it was dark, and she was still talking fas as we went on. When I inquire what was the hurry she said if she don’t get home before 2000 her mother would complain about her coming late in the night and suggest coming the following morning and she didn’t want that. Well we talked of course about our courses with her in her speedy march and about where she lived and where I lived and all…what do you expect on the first day when someone was speeding. The whole speeding scenario waa funny for me, when I recounted it to her she laughed and couldn’t believe. You know the ladies, later she couldn’t make me out back in school when we met in class and went over the whole thing with the clothes she was wearing that day and all. We are friends now, at least we lie to each other about being best friends, I think? We are open, first she was a bit hesistant before not knowing what to expect from me? Now we talk about everything. The last time I called her I jokingly complained about why she wasn’t caling her best friend, something we always do, the person who calls first after a long silence gets to complain…not intentional but it sure does happen. She called me a few days ago, when I was driving, I couldn’t talk much but she said se wanted to check and see how her beautiful best friend was doing? How sweet? She’s truly a gift. Her friend, Dzifa and I teased her oneday about a girl Gifty was caling way too slim. Dzifa wa like, ‘looks who’s talking, your legs are just the same.’ Well, I hate to admit but it was so true, she said, it wasn’t …oh boy, she’s not too slim…saying that to stop her fattening course she planning to have.

Now’s Ebo and Archie…you guys I knew from Spanish class. Two amazing guys. Don’t really know them that well. Ebo always has the impression that I know Spanish better than him, at least we are all beginniners in the language. You don’t trust anyone in my school who tells you that, they would make you feel light headed beyond all doubt, but the saying telling you studies likes crazy. Ebo called me once to come over to his place to discuss some basic things in Spanish we had a test the next day. At least the discussion went well…and the test was so difficult more than anything in Spanish. The lecturer said he didn’t like the face that we all scored so high on the previous test. He said in an exam there should be people in all levels, the man is wicked. Give us a break, we are all just new to the language. Ebo is always complaining about him being wicked and all, and it isn’t him only I’m sure of it. Archie is Ebo’s pal, we all met someday in the Spanish Oral class and when after some girls proposed that we form a study group which Archie wanted to join, but he later confessed that he didn’t think those girls were serious but he would come and see me later in my room so that I could explain a few things. He had background knowledge of the German language I realized in our talks. Little did I know that Archie wasn’t studying Spanish at all, he took our courses but he likes to learn languages. I really won’t have known because of his passionate nature of the whole thing is amazing and if I hadn’t asked ebo of is whereabouts when I didn’t find him in the class sometimes. I now understand why he wasn’t really coming to some of the classes. Hmmmm the boy is ambitious.

Judith, Sarah, Mavis, Jemimah and Maggie are all room-mates. Judith’s the person I met first. Where? Spanish Oral but apparently we all do the same three courses, Political Science, Psychology and Spanish and so the latter part of the semester we studied together for the exams. We’re more open to each other, I mean Judith and I, we talked about everything. And her are more like best friends…yea yea yea, I know there are so many right? Yep! She even said that if she were going out with me she’d be scared because I got so many ladies always with me, so many o my phone. Laughed… ‘Jeeeeeees it just being open to everybody, no harm done’ During the semester I told her I had fallen for her, I just told her but then I wasn’t really into it because I was just getting out of one. Don’t blame me; she was the person I was more with. She thinking I was joking initially she laughed about the whole thing, realizing I wasn’t joking later on…she said she wasn’t sure and of course she couldn’t just go out with me…the usual excuse I’m older. Anyways, surprisingly enough she broke up with her boyfriend and I thank God they are fixing things now, at least I encouraged her to talk things through and her room-mates too. She sometimes takes things too personally, misinterpreting everything I say to mean I don’t like her, I dislike the way she is…sometimes she just intentionally does that. She’s very sweet though. Thing was we met in that Spanish class and I had already being going to her floor some of the time. I have a friend there, Nakuor. I would talk about her in a bit. Judith saw me one day going there and she remarked that I was always going there, like all humans having the mindset that seeing someone all the time meant we were going out, and it wasn’t surprising people thought that about us too later on. Her room-mates actually said they won’t be surprised if they hear we are going out. After that day…I got introduced to her room-mates and hey I got in with everybody. Sarah’s behaviour and everything is just like my sister, Edwina and so I have taken her as my sister. She’s crazy, can get so pissed so no reason. Sometimes she just moves with the flow, loves going home every week that I understand she has to do a few things at home for her mother. One thing about her though is her way of thinking. Honestly I got to know so many things about her before Judith even became open to me; her past life, boyfriends and so on. With her relationships, for me she’s quite unstable I always tell her and she smiles about it. You know she’s unstable? She’s one of those people that think all guys are the same, you know, liars, cheats and so on and can’t trust guys. She claims I’m the only one who can check her behaviour. I’m glad I can. Oh my God, she and her combing of her, always having to comb it just for the public’s eyes. Thing is she’s pretty shy too but make no mistake you mess with her, you would get it right there in the street because I don’t want her coming home and pouring it all on me. Mavis, one thing I can say clearly, she likes laughing about all the strange things that happens to her. She’s got so many stories, and makes all of them sound interesting, those sometimes especially on Sunday when she comes back from church or home, oh boy I can’t stand her stories, one too many. She’s a lively person. I remember he first day I met her in the room, she was all over me, trying to make me crack. I don’t get this thing with ladies thinking we’ll the same, us guys. We thought by doing that she could get me into never coming back, boy she really harassed me that night or maybe I liked it…but according to her results I passed. don’t you ever pull that stunt again gurl. She could get very emotional but like most people try to hide it behind being all strong and all. She could crack over serious emotional problems, then the shouting her comes out. Jemimah, is just like one lovely Jemimah I know expect this one is Ga so we talk more I that language. If I wanted to have a big sister, she would be the one. She so free, so open, maybe because she more mature and in her final year. She should have finished a year before but she deferred to Benin for a year to study French but I believe she’s like that naturally. If there’s an argument she would listen to both sides and make good judgement even if she’s against you, you’ll like her. I’m glad she speaks French, so then I could gossip when her roommates are still in the room. Nothing more to say about like, she’s likeable. Maggie however I didn’t find so free initially maybe because she was a mature student coming in this year but being in their room for quite so time you’d realize how she could joke about everything. She had been saying that the way the kept coming to their room and staying there for long, I should actually move in because I was already a room-mate. She’ also a nice person when you get to know, works hard, always comes back to the room so tired and stressed out and angry!!!

Boy this list is endless, I bet I have to go to part 2 on this one.

 

By Chance?!!!!

‘Chance’ is a word that don’t play in my dictionary. LOL…have you ever thought that something happened at a particular time and particular place by chance? Think again, you’re WRONG! Yeah you heard me, WRONG!

Come on, even the little baby knows her mother took the knife away from her for a reason which she may not be too sure of. You think that man who just tried some lottery numbers for the first time, and won…had it by chance. No, I don’t think it’s chance…you know what I say about God who always watches over us and sees us; HE makes us know that nothing happens by chance but for a reason. The fact that you don’t know doesn’t mean you should go ahead think luck or chance happened. NO way! At least we are more matured than the baby who will cry for the knife being taken…act maturely…chance?

Fine, prove to me that you came to this world by chance, that your parents weren’t supposed to be your parents, that your friends came by chance, that your boyfriend/girlfriend came by chance, that your neighbour came by chance, that all the schools you attended were by chance, that your parents’ perseverance to pay your school bill was by chance…yeah right? Prove to me? Can you? Let’s look at the big picture…prove to me that this world came by chance, God came by chance, the beautiful attractions of nature came by chance, that man went into Space by chance…certainly not! Everything happens for a reason, that’s the truth.

Your parents, even if they didn’t love each other, even worse, lets say they weren’t expecting you and you happened, you think you came by chance? Chance? Fine, let’s work with chance for a minute, so you saying that because you came by chance you won’t amount to anything in this life? That’s the lamest excuse I have ever heard. You have a reason for being here, you can’t change your parents, you can’t change the past, but you can determine tomorrow, by acting today. You have to find the reason, don’t be that baby and cry. Life is work, you work it. Are we on the same page? I hope so.

Your friends, there’s a reason why there are your friends, even if they betrayed you. Allow me to let you on this, there’s a positive and negative side to everything…it’s up to you to choose which one will influence you. I know you could choose those you want to make your friends but your reason for making them your friends may not be HIS reasons for making them meet you. I could take those items I listed in the previous paragraph and show you all the way nothing is chance but I want you to do that. Simply put, there’s a reason You happened and there’s a reason They happened. If you believe that then we can continue, if you don’t you’re wasting your time here.

You know why we think things are by chance? If you realize it, we usually think like that when things are evil or bad, or too good to be true. Imagine the Two World Wars, very devastating…you think it was chance…no there was a reason that sparked it; the causal reason which is what everybody knows and has seen and is for now and before (past), but there’s a real reason which is for the future, which I want you to look at, the positive side of the world war in the future and the many years after 1945. Now this is the real part I want you to get, if you don’t understand read from the top again and slowly. The real reason is what I want all of us to look at when it comes to every thing that happens around us. Don’t only look at the causal reason, but look at the positive aftermath of everything, whether bad or good. There’s a real reason which is positive. If you do this in everything you will turn to appreciate everything that happens or has happened.

Another one; so what is the real reason for your parents being your parents despite who they are, your friends also, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your wife/husband being who they are to you, your neighbour being your neighbour and not anyone else, why you attended certain schools…if you find the real reason then look at the big picture too; why you came to this world?

CHANCE IS FOR THE ONE WHO BELIEVES HIS VERY EXISTENCE IS BY THAT SAME CHANCE.

 

Retelling The French Voyage Pt. 1

                       I’m sitting here in the parlour downstairs – my aunt’s and uncle’s house in Abidjan watching some French comedy. You know, since I came here, honestly I have realized that the French people don’t make those nice movies like the Hulk, Spiderman, Stomp the Yard, and the other English thrilling movies. If they do show those movies, then it is dubbed in French voice. Jeeeeeeees, I don’t know why but like 80% of their programs are so boring. Well, you can’t blame me I miss the fun programs on Ghana television. You can’t blame me, home is home, right? Hahahh! I just laughed at some very stupid French comedy. I guess they do have something too.

 

                        Well, I have less than 48 hours to return back home after almost a year outside her. Okay! Right now I want to go through some Ivorian experience before I fly out. Where can I start from? Hmmmmm, someone said if you don’t know where to start, start from the beginning. So I guess the beginning will be how I got here. Well I came here first by bus, a government run service called STC. Since it was my first time, I was going to be an experience. I came with my Uncle, Isaac. Damn! The journey was so long.  I left the house at around 4am, the bus left at around 5am. You wouldn’t believe it but I got home to Abidjan around 8:30 pm. My buttocks was finished. Of course there were stops on the way but then it was my first time. All I had to resign myself to, was that probably my bus ride was less longer than for many others. You know I loved about the whole bus ride? The green scenery! I never had a chance to see all the way from Accra to Elubo and through to Abidjan. I saw it all, name it; water bodies, strange buildings, houses, languages, boy! I saw a lot in the long journey. I think once a while people should just take the bus ride to the nearest country. Boi! It is adventurous, but you know what? I will leave that to you to decide. Don’t say I didn’t tell you that you are missing on lots of things.

 

                       The language? Ohhhh! I know that’s was the main reason I chose to come here. The French language was another one! Yea, I did French back in school from Grade 2 to Grade 9 but that was a long time ago! Well I could remember the “ Bonjour” “Merci” and all the other small expressions. Jeeeeez but my French teacher was talking slowly, these people sure weren’t! Right in the bus, there were so many people who spoke French; others both French and English. Inside my own country I left like a stranger in the bus. Even my uncle called a friend of his in Abidjan on the way. Gosh! I didn’t understand anything. I tried! Who told you I didn’t! Like I said, my French teacher was talking slowly, besides all I needed back the in school was to learn what I had been taught and answer questions on it. Guess what? Final exams, I had an A. Here was I in the bus with bilingual and francophones and I didn’t know nothing! What the heck was I doing back in school then?

Yep! But trust me I had to make extra effort to understand and speak the language. Even now I am not perfect. I remember telling a friend of mine yesterday that I understand like 100% and speak like 80%. Those figures should even be reduced a bit. LOL.  Did you say why? I’m surprised at you. I have been here for less than a year, maybe 10 months at most and you think I know everything. It wasn’t like I came to school here to study French, nope! So everyday I learn something new. I remember the first time I went to church. Yep! You guessed it! It was a French church. How the heck was I going to understand was the preacher said? Before, it never crossed my mind; after all, my uncle spoke French. Unfortunately Isaac too was an usher, so he could never have time to translate. Well, I just decided in my mind to follow the crowd, though I would be seconds late on doing what they do. I just decided to sit there and pretend like I heard everything. Luckily, my uncle made some efforts. There was this girl being ushered in by my uncle and he asked her if she could speak English. She answered. “yes!” Wondering, my uncle asked if she could translate for someone. She didn’t answer she threw her right hand, asking who it was. My uncle pointed at me and somehow I smiled at her. Of course I had to. Then she refused. Well, asked my why? Maybe because I smiled too much. Probably I should have frown my face that day. Well, she later went to her seat and asked some other guy, much older than her, to translate for me. Well, so calmly the guy came to take his seat near me. I was glad at least I would be able to understand what the speaker was saying. The guy told me after sitting, “I’m Elvis.” Certainly I told him my name. Well he did translate. Not the perfect English, but Elvis was so far better than me compared to speaking someone’s language. He was French and he didn’t speak so perfect English, sometimes mixing a few tenses but he was good. I thought he had done so well to study English in a French country, unlike me who couldn’t make a clean conversation in French. Well he helped me, I helped him. Sometimes he corrected my mistakes in the French language, and me, his.

For the young woman who didn’t want to translate, I later learned her name was Stephanie. She was studying English in the university. She was just in her first year I heard. So the thing was she wasn’t so perfect, maybe couldn’t speak in a clean conversation like me. That’s one characteristic with the Ivorians I don’t really understand. They turn to laugh at a foreigner who makes a mistake in French, so even with the little English they knew they couldn’t speak. Why? Certainly, because they think the Anglophones will laugh at them. Those mocking would have discouraged me if it wasn’t for people other bilinguals and francophones who advised me. Like my Uncle said, “ I’m here to learn your language, I don’t care if you laugh at me, after all in the end, I know your language, and you don’t speak mine!” Well said uncle!

So I went from learning the small phrases, to the main two days a week of French lessons, one hour each day, with a very good French teacher normally called Tonton Pierre, I made it to where I am now, though still nowhere but somewhere.   You won’t believe I even lead a bible study meeting in French. Yeah!

 

                          The food? OMG! The second or so day I came here. I accompanied my uncle to go and buy some food. The call the food, “Atieke,” the main delicacy of the people. I remember watching when the food vendor was putting the food into a take-away. It looked like rice from afar. When I got closer, surely I thought I saw “Gari” – a local food in Ghana. If it was gari I was seeing, where was the stew or something in that category to go with it? All I saw the guy putting on the food was fish, that smelt so nice, and omg! Did the guy just sprinkled only green pepper on the food and hand it to us? Puzzled, I questioned my uncle as to what that was. He revealed that it was just like our gari back home.  With our gari, after deriving it from cassava, we fry it. But these people steam it with water. Well…I can’t deny the food was nice. When I was eating; I can recall the watch man, Jean, shouting that, “On mange ‘garba’ avec les mains” In translation, we eat garba with our hands, and I was using a spoon. (don’t get confused, I know I said atieke, now I’m saying garba. Well in a raw state, it is called atieke. When it is prepared by the men, with just their green pepper, it is called garba; amazing many people prefer that, to the nutritious one made by women with more vegetables and stew, which still retains the name atieke.) Get it now I hope! There are other foods, but lets stop on this, at least that’s the main diet of the people. I recall some people telling me that Ghana isn’t a nice place. Why? Because there’s no atieke. Yeah right!

 

The Dream of Life

I had no reason to want to live

Happiness was not a consistent factor

I had no passion for life

Love came surely from family and friends

I had no purpose in life

I felt unfulfilled

In the nights I did not want to wake up

I prayed to God;

To prevent all my worthless living

To make me not see the light of day in flesh

But He never did

Then I had a dream

A dream that my creator wanted me

To be the leader of His people;

A dream that pushed me on

A dream that gave me a purpose for life

A dream that granted me the desire to keep on living

Now!

I no longer want to die

I surprisingly do not want to sleep for long

For there’s a lot to be done

I have a mission to fulfill

If I die without doing it

Then I would be useless

He did not give me a reason to only live on

I had a reason

To give my all

And now to die for the cause

A cause I will die for trying

My time is short

Three score and ten and a few more

I have a lot to do

So I pray for life each day

And He grants it to me

 

A Red Cherry

I just woke up from my bed, still enjoying the beauty of sleep from a whole academic year gone with MGIS – the school where I work – I had planned to write an article on my relationship with a girl I made in the school; a friend from the South of the continent.

She’s not your average medium-height person (whatever that means). This woman is gorgeous but yes that’s where we encounter situation number one with women. I remember chatting online using the windows live services for the first time, telling her how beautiful she was. She replied, “Nope! I’m not; I think I’m the ugliest in my family.” That description of her shocked me! Why would a beautiful girl call herself ugly? Amazing, but that’s women you can never understand them. One day, Sherri – what I normally call her – told me she wanted to have some adjustments done to her body. “Ah!” Yes I know. Women! You just can’t understand, can you? She claimed she wanted to have those many operations done nowadays in the modern world; adjusting the natural beauty of God’s creation – breast reduction, a hip bone removal, jaw adjustments. When I heard all that that day on the phone, and believe me that wasn’t all, I screamed, “Why would you want to do that?” Then she started on and on about how she wasn’t beautiful and all. Of course you didn’t think I was mad to keep quiet about it, I discouraged her from it and of course they never listen when they have made up their minds about their body.

Before I proceed any further, allow me to describe how we came to meet. Long before our eyes met, I had heard some stuff about her from her English teacher; that she was a very brilliant lady, of course in the English language. He said, “She always brings up some complicated topics on certain issues.” In short, the girl was complicated. I remember one day, Micahlord, her English teacher told me, that he had to lie to her that he was half British, half Ghanaian. Why? Because the girl had for some reasons kept some preconceived reasons that he was a British and he claimed he didn’t want to disappoint her beliefs. Some complications in life! Well, the day we met; I was in the school canteen another area of my work domain. I had by this time finished up all I was doing there and was relaxed sitting with of course her English teacher taking some snacks when she arrived with her other friend, also from the south of the continent. I listened as they went on and on about their country, South Africa and their cultures. They gladly informed their little audience that in South Africa there are the white, the blacks and the coloured (a mixture of the two). They said they were coloured. Up till now I hadn’t spoken, taking everything in. Then Sherri claimed she was more coloured than her other friend because most of her ancestors were white. That’s where I asked, “What is this thing with coloured and white and blacks?” She didn’t say anything new in answering. Come on, my pals; whether black or white or yellow or pink, blue; we are all Africans. So what’s with all this divisions in colour? You know that is what makes us war against other tribes and discriminate against other people because they aren’t like YOU. Seeing I wasn’t content with her answer she asked, “What’s your aim even in this school. I see you walking around all the time, doing nothing; just running here and there.” Up till now I hadn’t said a word, I was stunned! Then she asked again, “why are you here? Why aren’t you in school?” Finally I explained to her that I came here to work a bit before going back to the university. She was ok with that, I hoped. You know why I didn’t answer the first question? Apparently she had been asking some people about me and all. I didn’t believe it when people said it, but then there it was. I didn’t understand why she would deviate from her talk on culture and suddenly jump on to, “what my aim in life?” I always laugh when I remember that question because for a person of where I’m going to and seeing my dreams fulfilled, I have my life written down, for now till when I’m 30, and still writing down, already prepared the rest in my head, till over 50 years. I think you should do too; it gives you a forecast of what you want to achieve each day, each month, each year, and of course how to work towards attaining it.

We were talking about my friend. From this time onwards after our conversation; we occasionally said the ‘hi’s’ and the ‘hello’s’. Of course after sometime, I had her email address and her phone number – you know how guys get sometimes I would not want to call it dating what took place between us because we usually only chatted on the internet when she got home from school and I was done with work, or we called each other on the phone. We never really went out; hanging out, you know what I mean. Not to even talk of going to her house, I never knew where she lived exactly. Sure I know the area, but not where the house was. Why? Maybe I will tell you later. Though we didn’t go out actually, we always talked. Amazingly we hardly talked in school, she was in class, I was… in her words, “running around here and there,” funny way of describing my work, when I know how hard I worked everyday. Almost everyday we talked: if not everyday. It creates some bond when you always do spend some time talking with people and learning about them and vice versa. “My love life,” she prefers to call it; is one heck of a story. She said once back in her own country she was dating this guy who ended up breaking her heart, so bad that she didn’t want to revisit the subject with anyone. Often she said to me, “You know I do have the ‘hots’ for you.” Yes, true whatever the situation was, I would have loved to be more than friends but when things are unstable with two people, like with us, relationships don’t work; she not being to live in herself probably haunted by her past and me, not really thinking I could start something I know it will not work in the long run. I wasn’t ready for that. Besides after her graduation, which she had a few days back, she is going back to South Africa forever and me to Ghana. So we talked and of course they you can guess by now, ‘friends’ are cool with us.

I remember talking to her recently on the issue of her love life, and she told me, “It is still complicated!” I asked why? She said, “There are too many guys asking me out and I’m so confused right now.” You see! Right there, that’s where I can sometimes understand; if you don’t like the guy just say NO! In stead of letting in a long drag about the whole thing and hurting your self emotionally. Oh yea, for sure that’s what happened, what did you think? She later explained that she didn’t want to loose all her friend over this issue by hurting them. Women! For the last time in this script I’m going to say, “If you don’t want to have more than friendship with a guy, just tell him.” Believe me; it is far better for the guy to know that NO is NO and be just friends, than making him stay on the journey for long. The guy will trust me, get over it and believe me within some few moments set his eyes on another girl. Then it strikes me again, maybe women like it when the guys come chasing after them in numbers, because I sure don’t get it. Can you tell me why? Anyways I hope she finds her answers soon, because it really does drain her emotionally – thinking on it -

Yes! In a few days time she is going to go back to SA. She told me she can’t wait and I sure do know it. She has been counting the days since the beginning of the year.

What I surely won’t forget about ‘my red cherry’ are the warm hugs she gave me each time we met- if you know me by now, I love hugs- and there was something about her though annoying sometimes she will definitely leave an imprint in your life, if you were close to her, something peculiar but special many people didn’t realize or notice because they had other impressions for her and refuse to change, even is she did in their eyes- we call that human nature I guess-.

Probably we may not meet again in this life, but I pray that God sees her through, and perhaps she gets less complicated and appreciates more of who she is and what she has. I pray the same prayer for you that God opens your eyes to appreciate yourself more and those around you.